@~ nIaz The bLoGger~#

2011-10-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

before this i was planning to close this blog...tpi since x tertutup2 lagi...terasa la plak menggatal nak post something....

nothing much,it just that aq rse serabut latetly (as always) n mcam bese, xder tempat lain, aq merapu la kat tempat nieee..a place dimana aq xperlu bercerita face 2 face dengan sesape..

aq sekarang da officially senior tahun 2 F**I, tapi langsung xder sifat2 senior..muka junior pown bru skali tengok..tapiii ADE AQ KESAH KEW^^...bad me....i know..

AARRRRRGHHHH!!! serabutnya otak nieee!!!apasal makin meningkat umur makin bermasalah aq nie...things turn out to be more and more and more complicated....kenapa susah sangat nak faham dengan situasi and kenapa susah sangat mereka nak faham dengan situasi yang aq alami nie???

dulu, kalau luahkan dekat sesapa hati da lega...all the burden immediately vanished (it happens sometimes but most of the time....Bubbling lebey) but nowadays, hampeh..makin menjadi2 ada la....

kenapa mereka x boleh faham yang aq sekarang sedang mencuba....aq bukannya duk goyang kaki duk kat umah makan tido makan tido...aq x kata aq da fully matang n i dont want all childish thinggy dalam hidup aq..it just , aq kalu boleh nak kurang kan...dont ask me why..even aq pown xtaw....maybe perubahan dan peningkatan umur kowt...

cakap la korang nak cakap aq nie mengada2 ke ape...this is about my life...and i cant keep all the serabut stuff on my head alone...

since aq 2nd year student, i've decided to stay outside...alhamdulillah, i got the place but somehow, my rumah sewa adalah ketagori rumah sewa yang mahal...tpi rumah setinggan je....x faham la dengan people nowadays....susah sangat ke nak buat baik..i mean, as student xkan x ley tolong kami by kurangkan sedikit bayaran tuk umah sewa nie....rm700 for rumah which is kawasan tu diorang cakap kadaran sewa adalah dalam rm 450...okay, find fully furnish..tpi doesnt mean naikkan mahal mcam tu....wat la people lat KT nie...TAMAK betul....susah ke nak tolong bangsa sendiri??nie la masalah bangsa melayu kita sekarang..bukan nak bersepadu...nak mengejar kemewahan je semata2.....ini umum ye, sape makan chili dia la yg rase pedas...

so back to the topic...da la x nak kurang kan, pastu berdalih je lebey...ary yang aq kne bayar umah sewa tu...bukan main laju je tarik duit dri tangan aq nie...cakap nak nego balik sal umah sewa dalam masa 2-3 ary lagi..tpi skunk??seminggu lebey da, tpi hampeh!..dapat je duit terus senyap..dulu bukan main berjanji itu la ini la....hurmmmm....sudah terang masih bersuluh...udah2 la nak bengang menegakkan benang yang basah....

bukan aq xnak carik rumah lain..tpi masalah nye, time kemas umah nie pown kitaowang da super duper nak pengsan walaupun bukan semua orang dalam umah nie yang buat keje2 tu..tpi abaikan....da la sekarang da nak masuk mid sem da, so xkan la x faham...bukan senang nak deal dengan life as a student U taw...aq x a nak mengaku aq merungut... aq just letey taw....sangat letey dengan drama harian aq nie...sampai satu tahap aq nak lempang je owang yang cuba buat lawak bodo yang memang serupa bodah nie....(maafkan saya, emosi saya tidak la sestabil dlu, so kepada sesape yang da x tahan sila2 la leave this page).....pastu,law dapat umah, nak kne deal ngan itu la ini la....belum tentu lagi nasib kali tu lebey baik dri asal...

da tahu idup kat umah sewa sbgai student U nie beramai2 so, aq cadangkan sape yang belum pernah lgi yang duduk umah sewa, SILA BACE BALIK BUKU AGAMA KE APE, TENTANG ADAT2 KETIKA DUDUK DIRUMAH SEWA BERSAMA2 BUDAK2 U YANG LAIN....kalu xder buku, otak kan ade, x kan xley berfikir mane satu perlu mana satu x perlu...mane satu salah mane satu betul...

P/S: aq x tujukan kepada mana2 pihak, aq disini just menyampaikan nasihat semata berdasarkan pengalaman mengajar kita...

aq yang sem nie aq da blajar...asal aq rase cam cepat je sem nie berlalu.....nasihat seterusnya adalah SILA BELAJAR UNTUK MEMAHAMI BUKAN MENGHAFAL UNTUK LULUS SEMATA2..... aq da penat la blajar menda yang same tpi still x taw ape ke benda tu...x ke bangang kalau seorang manusia yang bergelar student x tahu benda yang da diajar sejak sekolah sampai la skrang, tpi masih lgi menghafal untuk test n exam...

SO RENUNG2 KAN LA...aq pown da ngantuk da t law aq nak bgi 'nasihat' lgi aq post la lagi....bile??bergantung pada mood yang ad...

1.24am_friday

while enough~

2011-07-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

fuh!...dah nak masuk bulan puasa da rupenyer...which means da berhabuk da blog aq nie..since da lame da x berspeaking sume da aq hampir lupe( berkarat otak aq duk kat umah doing nothing)

if i'm not mistaken, my last post was on may.tu pun time tgh exam.so so x faham.time exam ade plak mase nak post, p skunk dah ade byk mase xnak plak....=> what can i say,mood x menentu...hehhehe...

so since tangan aq da menaip n aq plak rase nak bercerita,mari la kengkawan duk bersila kat depan lappy sambil dengar aq bercerita menda yg x berfaedah niee...*___*v

so after abih exam n ALSO perkara yang last skali after exam yg aq kne berdepan PUBLIC SPEAKING, aq n member2 aq yang lain g la meng-enjoy-kan diri sendiri DENGAN mengemas dan memunggah barang untuk diangkat dan dibawa ke stor umah sewa (which is almost super duper jauh dri umah sewa aq tu) ukan dekat umah sewa aq pown, dekat stor OWNER umah sewa aq tu..fuh...p nak wat camner kan..nak xnak terpaksa la.

so i went home on 6 may , which happened terkene plak ngan bufday aq...so HAPPY SUPER DUPER AGAIN BELATED BUFDAY TO ME!....i was supposed to back home with aq nyer member,but UNfortunately skejab jew...suku jalan jew,atas sbb2 tertentu.....soo pulang la aq ke kema*man bersendirian sambil terpaksa menempuh perjalanan yg sedikit sebyk lama lagi MEMBOSANKAN......

so balik dari umah bermula la hidup baru dan lama aq sabagai pengumpul lemak...perghhhh..kalu dapat jual nie da lama aq jadik kaya-raya..^^

jadik tu bulan may_aq mmg 100% jadik mengumpul lemak yg berjaya

pertengahan bulan 6 n 7_aq jadik employee dekat kantin skolah...hari2 keje aq mengata budak2 n also cikg*2 kat stu.....maaf la ye...tapi tu x lama,hanyer bertahan sampai sebulan je...sbb sekarang da msuk 2 mggu aq berhenti kje also atas sebab2 tertentu..........................

so life aq xder la bosan sangan walaupun aq sendirik rase bosan..ahhehehhehe...but thanks to mereka2 yang terlibat yang selalu buat hidup aq nie naik turun naik turun dan terus naik naik sampai da x trun2....hehehheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

another and another bla bla~

2011-04-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

fuhu-fuhu....2 papers down and i still got 4 more's waiting for me^*sigh~

tomorrow(23-04-2011) is my third exam (mechanic and waves) followed by measurement the next day...wish me luck k*wink wink...

yeah,some people will wondering why am i still have time online,posting something don't give any benefits for my final..well,it's up to me right..u have no right to judge me..hehhehe..bad jokes..

of course this wont give any benefits to me,but still i considered it as a release-stress time..hehehhe..since my week is not that gud as i want..hurrmmm...can't wait to leave this room.i can't stand it...staying here turns me into a bad person.i mean really really into a bad person..i don't want to be rude but yeah i am rude..i don't freaking care about them all anymore.screw them..yeah screw them all...i don't care and of course u all also don't care if i care because this is my business not urs^^...

it's okay if they say im cold.my heart as cold as ice i don't mind.it's a sign i'm giving u where i called "STAY AWAY FROM ME"....

well back to the undefined topic,soo after measurement i was planning to pay a visit with my frenz of course,at hospital as i told my last last last post before..hoping she's doing fine and need not go through 3rd surgery...can't wait to see u again..^^...

sooo pen-off now,my break is almost done(time out) so so need to get back to my study.AGAIN......

2011-04-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

i just checked my old friends's blog,

looks like they all move on,

turning them into a better person,i guess..

so why can't i??

why i'm still here,standing at the same place,

carrying the same me.

what i should i do, so i can let go of my past?

i keep on thinking till my head hurts.

how envy i am seeing them with the new look in the face,

the new style,new character...

now i look ridiculous,envy over something that i should not to.

i want to be with my old friends,but at the same time i don't want to.

because i'm scared that i'm gonna hurt their feeling for being silence for the whole time we meet. i'm might not talk because i'm too scare to talk.

having you all around me,with the same look but difference character,

i don't even want to imagine it.

because the more i thought about it,the more i hate it.

BECAUSE ALL THE MEMORIES THAT I TRIED TO KEEP WILL FADE AWAY..

i think i'm just a kind of girl who still living with the past memories....

it's just who i am..

2011-04-17T01:18:00.000-07:00

all i want is listen to the music,

while dreaming a wonderful one.

with no one around.

listen till i fall asleep,

with the wind embraced me.

till then,i shall be calm....

already final meh??

2011-04-16T05:46:00.001-07:00

wow,i don't know how to describe my feeling right now,my mind still say the final exam is just around the corner,actually IT IS AROUND THE CORNER!!,its tomorrow(17/4/2011)...i'm not freak out,am i??I AM NOT FREAK OUT *___*v

i'm cool,just cool...i feel gud.....

yeah, orite i'm freak out now...OMG!!OMG!!!..what should i do???hurmmm....

I AM JUST GREAT BEBEYH!!!....

thanks to all the lectures coz these few days banyak buat test...yang membuat kan aq nie da naik tepu dengan test dan juge exam..hehhehe..at least aq x freak out macam sem dlu(hopefully la^^) so this time i feel much much better..also thanks to my friends yang banyak membantu aq,especially to eda yang banyak teman aq spend berjam2 kat library untuk mentelaah..hehehhe..unfortunately,she can't berjuang dengan kitowang sekali for this final exam* akan ambik exam awal sem depan atas sbb2 tertentu....pew2 pown,we all here pray for you...mintak2 operation kali nie berjalan dengan lancar dan cepat2 la sembuh yer...coz i'm soooo missing u here..boring tul x der ko..huwaaaaa!!! T___T..got nobody yang aq selesa tuk lepaking kat library..terpaksa duk stu sowang2...huhuhuhuh....

soo my first paper tomorrow is material science_the most panic paper.hopefully i can score this paper so that i don't have to repeat..i don'n even dare to think about repeat this paper..*gantung diri...since scope pown da dapat ,so harap2 dapat jawap la...bab kate my sis,since i got the scope already,there's no such excuse not to score...YES MEM!!..i'll try my best..ehehheeh...

my 2nd paper is kenegaraan follow by

3.mechanics and wave

4.the next day is measurement

5.sensor

and the last one is instrument...

though the last is instrument,still i got to prepare my outline for persuasive and informative speech..huhuhuhu..pray for me k..soo so nervous about the speech.becoz i have to speak in front of the people..hate it most!

soo i don't want to think yet about the plan after the final,still i can't think even i want to...i'm not allowed to..hehehhe..for this sem,aq just nak focus habis tuk final. SO wish me luck k!!

can't wait! yay!!

2011-04-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

puhu..puhu....rase macam chipsmore plak..kejab ade kejab xder...hehehe...well blame the mood,not me.tetiba je rase mengatal nak posting walaupun x taw nak tulis ape.

since aq da buke blog and da pasang niat nak post,demi tidak menghampakan peminat-peminat ku sekalian*bluffing lebey +__+v ,meh la aq share sedikit sebanyak aq nyer daily life skunk...

start dari akhir bulan 3 sampai skunk, aq x abih2 ade test..dah naik jenuh da aq nak ngadap buku..*(how i wonder, those people yang bley belajar tinggi2 tu), sorry, but i'm not kind of person yang skew hit the bookssssss. hanya layan buku yang bernama 'komik' sahaja,terima kasih @___@v

so after one test and then goes another test,sampai otak tepu*(still aq wat revision walaupun banyak complaint!) and x lupe kepada my big sis and my dad and my mom, yang selalu kene tadah telinga dengar aq complain mcam budak kecik xcukup susu sustagen. sorry guys, i know having a such cry baby sis and daughter is tough! pew2 pown i'm still ur biological daught and sis,and nak xnak u all have to stay wif me forever...huahahhahaha!!!! BTW,having u guys is the best best best gift in my life,tq 4 the support *t balik kcik blanjer ice cream k *wink wink..

P/s: and also to my lil sis and my bro...t merajuk lak cakap xingat...hehehe...i'll always remember.ye adik,t jangan nak merajuk lak,kcik da sebut da name adik nie...(Ieja da la)

okey back to the topic,soo after facing them(test), i think i can say that i'm almost ready to face for my final exam..tinggal lgi 1 test je lgi yang buat aq jadik giler.bukan ape,giler sebb slalu kne tunda.klau dy bgitau 2 3 hari sbelum test xper,nie time nak jawap test tu...aduhhh...masuk nie da 2 kali da kene tunda,which is i hate it most!!*kiter bakor jew....p what to do lor,i'm just a student....

at least da reduce da skit tension,sbb dapat balik umah and makan makan..ngeh ngeh ngeh...so skunk,aq just x sabar nak habis kan paper final nie jew,so that aq bley balik umah n enjoy like i always did b4!!!homey homey!! wait for me k....

sabar membawa berkat^^

2011-03-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

lately terlalu banyak sangat benda yang nak kene buat, and i end up merungut non-stop..trust me,it's not like aq skew complain,it just that's the way i reduce my stress n keserabutan dikepala...hehhehe^^ *excuse lebey

soooo since terlalu banyak sangat,sampai satu tahan aq x tahan aq terpaksa mengadu kt my parents...so so malu...da besar panjang tpi still menangis lam telefon time cakap ngan my mom n dad....urrghhh,sangat x gentleman..i'm sooo damn weak.tpi to be honest, itu adalah first time after a long time aq x rase tension teruk macam tu...and i never had that kind of stress....

nie sume gara2 lecture aq...urghhh!!!*heheheh...i noe,xpatut nak salahkan lecture...

lots of thing yang aq kne siapkan dalam masa satu mggu which is happened all the assignment yang aq dapat tu bukan nak kne buat lam objective ke ape....everything essays and calculation!!!perghhhh..so we end up agihkan kje yang individu tu kepada group...so sowang buat soalan yang berlainan...meaning nanti time hantar sume aq dapat jwapan dan cara yang same...

what to do lo...terpaksa la....

so skunk, I AM DONE BABEYH!!!

that's why aq bley blogging..hahahhahah..i'm sooo happy happyyy happyyyyy..sampai aq nak gigit orang sekarang..hehehehe..

tpi sepanjang tempoh nak siap tu,terlalu banyak sangat la yang aq 'tertahu' and at the same time da la emosi x stabil..perghhhh...sentuh skit da naik angin..seyes aq x ley nak kawal temper aq...sume owang aq nak mengamuk..kesian kawan2 ku itu....and thanks to them all sbb sanggup besabar dengan aq nie....cayunk u all!!!muaxxxx

organizing.....

2011-03-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

dush!! omg banyak nyer menda kne buat...p nape ase cam kosong jew....suddenly i forgot to do this do that...huhuhhu:(( i miss my old me,the old me yang sangat cerewet pasal organizing nieyh....i miss tulis2 my time table n my money flow..huwaaaaaa!!!

lots of thing happen, sometimes sampai da over due bru aq ingat benda tu kne hantar..thank god, i still got the luck. but not every time luck at my side right??...fuh!havoc jadik nyer time table..so so x teratur *dengan rambut yang serabai

untuk dis sem,i don't even tulis brape byk yang aq da blanja,resit pown da lekat dengan aq da,n i think i'm alreday overrrr spend(OMG) camner nak back up nie...*sigh~ -so next sem please buat balik pembelajawan^^!! *grim face

okay i admit,study pown da start tunggang langgang...dlu awal2 sem dah promise,xmo tu xmo nie..but i end up do the oppose site...hurmmm..camner nak tukar erk??

meja pown da x nampak rupe meja da,full with things yang aq sdirik pown da xtaw da..nampak macam byk bran terpakai jew....skew erk aq kumpul2 barang2 yang x berguna nie..hik hik hik^^

well since next sem aq start duk kat luar...ingatkan senang nak carik umah,upenyer susah jugak erk..it tooks 2 days nak carik, plaing murah rumah kitaowang dapt rm400,tpi umah perghhh...even kwan aq pown cakap ,law duk stu blum tentu boley tido lena...byk kne jugak nak kne buat law ambik umah tu..sooo we end up dapat umah kat skitar g*** b*dak, which is law naik kreta ad la 10 min,law jalan kaki..........(cannot imaging sbb sdikit sbyk jauh)...

soo our new house cost rm700 per month,sume cakap mahal,tpi wat to do..tu jew umah yang kami dapat,the rest sume cost rm600-rm900 without furniture....xmo la...soo we love our house^^....actually rumah tu bru renovate thats why mahal,luar nampak kecik tpi dalam besar..bentuk umah tu rectangular,so dy pjang ke blakang..hehhehehe....next time i show u the house k...

OMG,that thing yang kat atas tu is not the thing yang aq nak cakap sbenarnya...

meaning since aq kne stay kat luar,sooo lots of money nak kne guna,banyak menda nak kne considered,so banyak jugak la otak nak kne pakai...huhuhuhuh :((

nak je aq wat kje giler,ulang alik dri terengganu-kemaman..hehheheheheh..skew saye menyusahkan diri dan owang lain *muka tanpa perasaan bersalah*___*

tpi yela kan since ade angle ring kat kepala soo i better don't..hehehhe*puppy face

soo pew2 pown mintak2 la sem depan will be a good sem for all of us...harap sangat2...no more misery...i wish..

2011-03-04T04:25:00.000-08:00

there've been a lot of thing happen these couple of days...sampai aq sendiri pun da x ter 'catch up'. for them maybe diorang akan cakap,nie bru dugaan kecil x besar lgi.tpi bgi aq...dah cukup besar.

i can't stand this kind of life anymore. i hate and totally hate it.

i am so over sensitive these day.....got angry over something that i think i should not. crying over something unrelevent to cry. and always in this 'kemurungan' face....i know i'm in this kind of depression week/month...but it's too long for me to stand. sampai satu tahap aq nak marah je semua orang.

my mom got warded due to the tiredness(actually sbb bleeding hidung and muntah darah sbb jatuh dalam toilet)....and that's make me tooooooo concerned about her,mmg serious i don't feel like balik U trus....

i hate people 'clinging' dekat my mom. !!excuse me,x nampak ke my mom xsehat??perlu ke cakap ngan member ko kat sbelah mak aq??korunk nak gelak ke nak menangis ke p la kat lain,xperlu la nak buat over sangat kat depan mak aq.....xde la mase mak aq nak tgk drama korunk...orang melayu selalu macam tu....i hate them!!

_btw,law nak balik ke nak cakap something ke, tggu dia sehat dulu x boleh ke?? perlu ke kne kejutkan mak aq untuk cakap nak balik da ke, nak bgitaw something kew????totally x masuk akal betul.pass kan family terdekat dy xboley kew??? again i hate them ALL!!

SILA DENGAR PESANAN PENAJA

2011-02-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Suddenly i got a feeling to write this thingy....sakit jiwa je duk pendam lelame. bgi taw orang pown bukan diowang faham aq rase...not every good listener is a good responder...

hurrmmmm....okay first i'm not going to talk or praise myself.even aq pown ade kekurang..but people kekurang tu boley dielakkkan right??to be honest i never tot perkara nie bely bagi site effect yang teruk dekat aq,which is happen aq jadi mkin worst and at the same time a little bit care free...

okay,here's the thing...it's all happen in sem 1 and the thing getting worse in sem 2...so far aq boley tahan lagi kesabaran aq, tpi yela,sampai bile??

dugaan,dugaan n dugaan....

ye aq tahu aq sedang diuji sekarang,tapi bgi aq setiap ujian pasti ade jalan penyelesaian nye kan,soo far aq x buat ape,,which is aq rase law lam wxam aq da fail...its okay..let the right time comes....

aq nie pown manusia biasa jugak,ade perasaan....boley menangis,ketawa,sakit aty,berdendam daannn sebangainye...tapi perlu ke aq jage perasaan owang lain bile owang tu xreti nak jage perasaan kite??

bermesra mesra la jugak,tpi jangan sampai pijak kepala,aq pantang kalu owang macam tu okay.......

nie la senang cerita,sesape yang terasa time bace blog aq nie,harap berubah la...kalau cakap depan pown x faham aq gune cara nie...itu pun kalau ko rase ko la owang tu ye...

P//SSSS:: pasnie sesape yang terasa mintak maaf la bebanyak ye,aq cakap nie untuk kebaikkkan sume gak....

1.tolong jage perasaan owang lain bile bergaul ye.....bukan ko sowang je yang ad perasaan tuk dijaga...sume ade..ape kate kalu kite saling jage perasaan owang lain....satu kali aq boley sabar,tpi kalau da 2 3 kali buat camtu,jangan suatu hari nanti ko bru sedar yang ko da xder member k...aq terus terang x ske owang mcam tu....masalah ko masalah ko,xperlu ko nak ketengahkan moody ko dekat depan member2 ko....law nak luah kan luahkan je la,aq bukannye kesah sangat law ko nak citer..nie citer nye x,buat muke jeew.....this is ur last chance,jangan cakap aq x bgi warning da k...ko buat skali lgi...pandai2 r ko faham kalu aq balas dendam balik....

__AQ POWN KALU ORANG DA CARIK PASAL,BERDENDAM JUGAK K...

2.kite nie da besar panjang,masing2 da ade otak dan akal yang boley fikir...umur pown da cecah 20 thun keatas...so x kan nak kne owang cakap lgi...xboley nak fahamkan sendiri?? kalu da taw da besar panjang perlu ke jadik mcam prangai budak kecik,buat gedik2 kat depan owang ramai,prangai mcam budak2 everytime kne marah...take it as a profesional sudah la....jangan tunjuk dekat owang yang ko tu x mature lagi...buat malu jew...time gurau buat la p law da time bukan gurau ko buat gedik jugak mane la owang suke....u just turn urself into a clown taw....sooo shut up n dengar je owang cakap...dan SILA BAGI RESPOND POSITIVE YE!

3.x salah nak meminjam,tpi bile da pinjam jngan lupe hantar blik...nie bagi muke skit,trus je pijak atas kepala...dri situ aq da nampak mcam mane prangai ko...buat mcam harta sendiri plak,,hellerrr sape punye barng tu??? here's the thing, hanya aq je yang boley peram barang aq sendiri k....nie mmg x hormat langsung r.da pandai gune tapi x pandai nak bsuh..da abih gune ,nak gune lgi tanpa mintak izin...that's is kind of rude yang x patut dicontohi oleh orang lain....da buat barang aq berkulat,still x nak pulangkan blik ke....malas r nak gune mak bapak dalam nie...sooo sape aq nak persalahkan,xreti ke..x diajar ke???

4.da tahu duk dalam bilik bukan sowang2,buat la mcam bukan duk sowang2....nie owang lain pown nak buat kje jugak.nie pasang lagu kuat2...lagu yang korunk pasang tu x semestinya owang skew...aq x layan r lagu melayu jiwang..soooo shut the F off!!! aq nak study sooo xreti ke nak hormat,,time ko stdy aq xder la pasang lgu...xder la pasang citer kuat2..sebab aq sedar aq nie duk dengan sape..xkan korunk xsedar lgi kowwttttt???? name je student u.tpi attitude, dekat kepala lutut...no sense of respect...hate those people!!

_sooo conclusion nye don't judge book by it's cover...aq tengok je mcam nie..hormat tu hormat,tapi kalu owang da carik pasal..aq boley buat lgi teruk dri yang korunk buat dekat aq...sooo better don't...aq x kesah hilang kwan k...kalu kwan2 tu mcam korunk nie,xpayah r...berlambak kat kaki lima.....jangan buat aq benci dan berdendam kat ko k....aq boley jadik duri dalam persahabatan once KORUNK MULAKAN....

it's back.....

2011-02-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

hurmmmm....how should i describe my feeling right now???_KILLING A PERSON??

why am i keep on posting something negative nowadays?? well let just say i'm trying to release my tension,soo feel free to leave this page if you don't want to read it...

i'm tired with everything.EVERYTHING.kept on blaming others start to be apart of my soul. HATE IT.very much.should i give up with my life also?? doing nothing,and die slowly??is it pain??is it hurt???....which one should i give up first??

i've been thinking lately...what's on my mind??i don't know.but i do know i'm thinking a lot.A LOT. everything mixed up,which i also hate this growing part..i rather stay as a kid. xperlu nak menyusah kan kepala otak...why grown up people thinking are sooooo soooo complicated...kadang2 ade baiknya kalau buat2 x faham sesuatu situasi tu...let just pretend perkara tu xder kene mengena dengan aq.can i??

week of exhausted

2011-01-24T10:25:00.000-08:00

after a long time,skunk badan aq macam gunung brapi yg da lama x aktif tetiba mencetus...damn i'm soo tired.my sis said it's because of the stress and the hard work that i have done this couple of days...hurm,i think so.since this month is the beginning of the new semester,but i felt like i already in the middle of the sem...what take it so long to finish this sem??? to be honest,how i wish to skip this sem.sooo freaking tired...sampai skunk,all the subjects being so hard for me to understand...xfaham aq ape lecturer laki2 nie ajar kat depan...more prefer lecturer pompuan,which 2 kali ganda bgi aq untuk senang nak faham....hurmmm...can't blame them after all,name pown u kan,sooo i should do more self study...maybe last time is not enough for me....i need to bear for this sem...please god,i pray for u.please give me some strength to face this life....

for you (L.M.L.Y.A)

2011-01-22T19:15:00.000-08:00

Can i fall in love like before??

Can i fall in love without being hurt like before??

suddenly i miss him,but at the same time i'm scared of him.

i don't want to forgive him but apart of me already did.

it is great to love someone,

but it's leave a great pain once you fail in love.

i rather lock myself for being involve in this kind of thing

just for this time.

i'm sorry,but i'm not ready.

I am hurt already,and the pain still can be feel till now..

p/s:i know you always open my blog,and i know you always check my FB and whatsoever..i'm begging you,please stop doing it,stop acting like you care so much.we already make a deal right.so live your life.i know it's you...

_sorry i already delete your number,and i don't know how to contact you.so i post this for you.please if you care about us,then stop searching for me.

buFday Girl~

2011-01-08T07:10:00.000-08:00

i never have a kind of birthday party with my friends,and it had happen today...LOL..i never had some much fun with my friend since my first time i came here (university) and it turns to be the best ever (so far la...hehehhehe....)...so few hours b4 sambut bufdayy girl niey,kitowang berlima pergi la bandar membeli ape yang ptut....since today was my first day period(i think), my mood pun a little bit terumbang ambing time tuuu..so for those yang duduk dekat ngan aq terpaksa menandah telinga..sorry guysss...i can't stand the rudeness time tooo....so unexcusable ....i hate those people suke sangat ambik kesempatan....fuh!!!

so after isyak sampai la kitaowang kat hostel,tell you what, one of my friend such a good actor.thanks to her,bufday girl x prasan kitaowang nak buat suprise...LOL...

then like others do,we did some little prank on her...suke tngok muka suprise dy...hahahha..

ape2 pown....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN (same name je,size kontra giler)

the other side of me

2011-01-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

in the middle of havoc,my eyes could see him immediately.

i don't love him because i already fell in love with somebody else.

but some how i think hes special to me.

i felt like i've been cheating on person that i love.

am i really love that person??

i'm waiting for 8 years and 9 days....

i tried everything i could searching for him.

NONE.

some people told me to forget him and start searching for the new one.

still i can't.

because i'm still waiting...

i never felt this is a kind of love monkey,

because i never felt that.

if before this i'll vomit if i talk about this,now i'm 20 and i think i'm old enough to let it out.

because i don't want it remain secret anymore.

i'm tired of it.

the promise that i kept.

let just considered he forgot his promises,and

already found someone better than me.

for this time being,i might not searching for someone yet,

cause i've responsibility to carry on.

it's a lie if i'm telling you that i will never wait for you anymore.

i give you a little chance because of my promise.

the promises that causes a lot of pain in me....

finally~

2011-01-01T16:39:00.000-08:00

well to be honest aq bukannya kesah sangat pown kne balik semula kat U** nie..it just that aq rase a little bit down.ye la kan,most of my friend dapat pointer 3 an above,tpi aq???

hurmmmm......it's not like aq x bersyukur,aq syukur sangat2 coz at least aq lulus,aq xperlu repeat paper.it just aq rase segan.maybe some people think that nie first sem,so keep it up for this comin sem...yes i will...but still aq rase down.aq malu x bertempat.damn me.segan plak aq mereka yang selama consult dgn aq tu dapat lebey n aq nie yang berlagak pandai dapat rendah....slalu aq cakap jangan letak harapan terlalu tinggi pada something yang kite sdiri x confident...*i think this time was my biggest mistake i ever make.

all in one

2010-12-29T08:10:00.001-08:00

there's nothing same anymore after your age is turned 18....everything start to change.....

-the school's life

-the new enviroment

-the new place

-new friends all the countries...

i mean of course it's a good thing to step out from the box once in while,but still i feel lonely and different. if before this i proudly can say that i know myself, but now i don't even recognize myself anymore and it's kind of hurt.sometimes i'm happy n few minutes after that i turn to be someone i don't even know and i don't want to know either. it just i'm curious about in what happen to me...

why is this happen now at this time. few days left before new year. and i'll turn to 20...did you heard that?? i'm turning to 20 next year and i should not act like this...i hate this kind part of me.

i have a tiny bit secret that i kept in myself. Only me and god knows about this...but lately apart of 'unrecognize' me wants to let it out...what i'm trying to say is,this tiny secret start to burden me and i just felt like to let it out(share with others)..all i know is it will destroy me and my life once someone know about this...and this secret is where i hate the most a part of me. to be honest, indeed its hard to become one with yourself.your soul and your body....

am i thinking to much or it just me who trying to be a person. the only things in my head are

-my future career

-my future life

-my future me

-my future attitude

-my future new place ( 2nd Home)

-MONEY....

I'm trying to achieve few of those thing in above currently...but there's one more question that i can't solve it. i already become an adult and next year i'm be turning to 20.when i say turning to 20 means i grow up, and when i grow up means my attitude and my personality should be grown up to right?? now the question is how to be mature and think like an adult???

am i tired lately or it just my illustration getting worst...everywhere i go i see all people i thought i know.it's kind of bothering me somehow.and last night i heard people running in my house.once then twice then thrice. i got angry and thought that it was my lil sis and my cousin.i got up from my bed get ready to scold them.then i went out from my room, i opened my lil sis bedroom,nope they were not there.only my big sis.when i asked her she said my lil sis n my cousin already sleep.first i thought it was a joke then i walked to my brother's bedroom and saw them.sleeping.okay....it's end there...i dunno what was i heard last night....maybe it just my illusion...and some other thing that happen in my own room and i don't want to talk about it...it's not creepy me out,it just make me wants to think more if i wrote it here...

i've been dreaming about almost a similar dream nowadays...the dream that i'm afraid it's some thing that connect with my past....dreams that i don't even want to remember once every time i woke up from my sleep....i want to ask but i'm scared of the answer that i'll get.i keep it silent but its worried me....

miss miss n miss

2010-12-06T00:30:00.000-08:00

i don't know why,but it feels like something missing in my house.not da thingy,but the feelings,the emotions.it felt like 'sunyi'.how i miss my old time.....

symptom or what??

2010-11-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

i don't know whether it's because of the final exam or what,but day by day i'm becoming a forgetful person.kind of lost and things getting worst nowadays.

i'm scared,hoping that its just a stress although i hate that word.

but truthfully,i've been talking a lot to myself lately...

tHe pRoper GirLs and The Rude GirLs

2010-10-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

okey listen,i'm a 19 years old and i'm a student,which is on behalf of unlucky i have to stay in the hostel for one year.i mean it's compulsory for first year student.n what a year for me....facing a troublesome people is the hatred part.since this is almost the end of the first sem, i don't know whether everyone's here busy or not,since sometimes i heard silence,n sometimes i heard like i was in the football field.but that' not the point....

what i want to say is,in my place there're only 2 division: -proper girl n -rude girl....

proper girls that is not that proper but still can respect,and the rude girls thats too much respect till i want to splash an acid inside their room....*am i that evil...yes when come to menda yang sangat99 menyakitkan aty..i'll do it....

_what do you feel if:

-you do some revision,then someone pasang lagu kuat2___HELLERR WHAT USED OF HEAD PHONE..sooo stupid la...

-or you just bru terlelap then u heard someone tutup pintu kuat2_sekali xpe tpi byk kali...

*really sampai satu tahap nak je cabut pintu tu...or lempang je budak tu...hellerrr again it's not like only you yang stay kat sni...xkan kan xley consider orang lain skit....

-you not in the mood,and you already make a face,or you already told them not to disturb but still diorang macam orang tak tahu bahasa melayu,kept on trying to talk to you....hate that kind of people...

-you just got back from class which is you super duper exhausted, then one of these people make a stupid,n really stupid n unfunny jokes....*really mcam nak sumbat stoking dalam mulut dy...

-every day have to face the same thing,people who like to brag..."i can do this,i can do that,i'm very famous,i have many bf,i never being rejected...bla...bla...bla....." AAARRRrrrr...ever heard of words SHUT UP??

-or everyday need to face people who like to complain more than trying to solve it...okay listen girl,first if you kept on complaining but not make a move to solve it,then don't come to me.go n find someone that can speak your language...

-or facing some 's*x***l hara**ment' every day...i know you a girl and i'm also a girl but let just say i don't like to much skin ship,soo you know what i mean right.....thanks...OH,AND I MEAN IT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE TEMPER BECAUSE ALL OF THESE THING.I STILL HAVE LOTS OF FRIEND THAT WILLING TO TAKE AWAY THE BURDEN......GLAD TO HAVE THEM HERE.....

EvErY oNe Can Get thrOugh ThEir LifE

2010-10-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i heard people complain,how hard life is....some of them said their life ain't good,their life ain't perfect.but did they know that facing kind of problems like that, are the way their life being created.Really..just imaging if your life being too perfect-there's nothing that you can consider as challenging since you know that you won't fail....I,myself was among of them before. i mean not that perfect one,but the losers one.

always complaining life is so unfair.why my life being treated like that,they got what they want but why can't i.and so on....its never stop.you never stop.but you can solve it right.it's your life,and your future is depending on you.not in others hand, so what the hell, just do it in your own way.they are not going to solve it for you.they also got their own mind problems...^^

sooo,i know even me still complain about my life sometimes. but i know i can face it,it's depending on how determine you are to solve the problem.if you just sit there,talking about do this do that,but not make a move,just forget to solve it then.because you already make a decision to yourself......think about it....

malasnyerrrr...~

2010-09-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

masuk bulan nie dah 3 bulan aq kat sni....sekejab je rase.still at the same time aq rase lambat nye mase berlalu.

standard la,aq rase sume budak2 U rase macam tu. sume nak habis cepat....i still got 3 years more to graduate..damn it!!

ape yang aq blajar nie....hurmmmm....

mid exam is just around the corner...seminggu je lagi kowt....p study nye makin berkurang...

nak kne jdik einstein nie susah btul erk....baik aq try jadik michelson and larry ke....lorentzo ke....

its " less talk more action"...banyak main game kurang bce buku....hehheheh^^

misery right??

2010-09-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

its weird isn't it??once you grown up you'll never be your old self anymore.

you can't turn back the clock,so do yourself.no matter how hard i'm trying to be my old self, i will never able to reach it.the new me is the character that i had build long long ago.its the character i have chosen to be.still,why am i feel so empty deep deep in my heart.the emptiness that made me becoming someone that i,myself didn't even recognize it.

its good isn't it; less talk more action.but me: less talk n so do action.i don't want to hate it because i don't want to.but still i dislike it.i don't want let the time handle because i hate waiting...

day by days i start to keep it in myself,i started to disbelieve people around me.i can't trust them though i want to.it's bitter to swallow it by myself.sometimes i just wish i close my eyes n when i open it everything turn to be just a dream,a painful one.

the beginning of the beginning

2010-08-15T01:30:00.000-07:00

now the journey just began....

i'm just started but then i'm exhausted already,

i got a lot of assignments that i need to submit it all on the dot.-damn

all the due is just around the corner(now i'm complaining),

its not that i'm busy with something else it just that i don't have much time??

it's a common excuse though,but yupp...i'm lacked of time lately.....

where's my time goes??i dont even know.

why n why must why

2010-08-09T02:33:00.000-07:00

HUhhhuhuhu.......

i thought that i'm fine,but i wasnt yet.

what is wrong with me?

how long will i be like this??how long will i continue acting like this?

why can't i forget about the past and start the new life??

this is s***t!!a bu**s**t!!i hate myself.

for this part,i hate myself.....

i'm a university student,soo y can't i act like one.

it's a common thing when boys n girls sit on the same table.

why can't i pretend that they different from the guy that i know from the past?

they are not the same but still,why??

they do nothing wrong with me, then y am i hating them so much??

man...this is going to be the hard time for me...

please please please let the past goo.....i want to start the new life.

face the music~

2010-08-05T04:56:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!I don't believe it!!

fhuhhh!!...i never thought that i will face this kind of thing again in my life...

please,is anyone out there can help me....

huhuhuhuhu~

i need to stand it for 3 years!!3YEARS!! do you hear that??

how am i going to face it??i hope things will change time by time..

okay,i don't want to 'prasan' sorang diri and at the same time i don't want to 'sakit ati' sorang diri.

it's not like i hate him, it just few things about him that i dislike.

i hate when a guy depends on the girl.sikit2 bley la...but if toooo often the girl macam aq nie senang rase annoying....

urrghhhh!!!

fyi aq da start balik da gaul ngan udak2 laki,how am i gonna avoid it??

they all my clazmate,and every day aq tgk +jupe diowang.

my fault jugak cause aq terlayan..hurmmm....

sampai bile aq nak prangai camnie??hate it sooo much.

xbley ke aq jadik normal??fuhuuu~

havoc VS pandemonium

2010-08-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

should i scream like others "OMG!!!HE SO SO SO HANDSOME.HIS MINE!!"

LOL...it's quite funny that moment,and till now there are still talking about him none stop!!

i wonder when will this thing end...hahhaha...

i admit i also in shocked state once i see his face, but hey it won't take that long. i'm a heartless right??? (big talk^^)

okay okay...since i'm kind of 'hulu n canggup' people,aq pown ternganga gak...

damn why hes taller than me??okay, europe people,i know,i know, but he doesn't look like 19.

i'll post his pic once i got it okay.pinky fade promise..hehhehehe *__*

so fyi, he wasn't alone.there's another one student and yup a girl..

well i'm not sure whether she same age as that boy or not.she seems mature n older than him(am i jelous??)

soo the girl name ida and the boy name haris...they both nice for now,i think..

and of course as always,i didn't talk with them YET..but i will..

i'm not that weak anymore okay,,,i can talk..yes i CAN talk...sooo do not underestimate...

and by the way Welcome to Ma**ysia^^

new big school^^

2010-07-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

surely i got lots of thing that i want to share with you guys since its being a long time aq x posting(betul kew??)

okay malas nak berbahasa bahasa basi kat sni, malas giler nak type,but at the same time aq tetiba terasa nak post something..^^

okay here i am again at the Universiti M*laysia Teren**anu...its quite fun, tambah plak dapat member2 yang mmg super duper sekepala ngan aq.everyday is a laughing day for 5 of us...

nanti aq post kan gambar kitaowang k...since aq x sempat nak cilok gambar dri camera diowang..ngeeeee~

i'm damn too lazy nak snap gambar...

i dont even know either aq or kakak aq yang lagi kuat berjalan kat sni.

kat sni da jadi tabiat kitowang, in a week mesti je kitaorang kuar, either by bus or by renting a car.

its pretty exhausted,but i was fun,last time after class at 3 pm we rented a car then p pusat bandar,jengjalan....korang bley bayang r macam mane 5 orang dalam kreta viva tu none stop talking!!! OMG...aq pun da naik lali da..but like i say,i was fun after all....

but hey,eventhough we all kaki merayap, but when comes study we seriuos k...

and i like it, thank god they all not kind a spoil person.aq jew yg terpikir lebey,bad me....

i shouldn't judge people by the way they look...but it's okay...i'm awake now....

so the all the class were also super duper okay la....

fews class still new for me.damn kadang2 aq lost la jugak..i don't even know what the lectures talked in front....

other than that it was fantastic.^^

awal2 of course la nervous first day masuk class,it being a long long time since my last secondary school aq rase nervous camtu..lol..silly me again...

but so far aq da bley da cope up dengan sume lectures..no ,not all lectures..

there still one lecture yang sampai skunk aq xley nak biasakan dri lagi,which happen to be my PS..damn....why am i shivering every time i'm in his class??damn it!! don't like it even a bit.

OWH!!fyi, pgi tadi aq ad orentasi bersama course aq,which mean all the student from 1 year to 3 year student aq skali..n guess what, i thought i'm gonna kill myself to death,coz aq ingat senior2 aq nie skima2 nak mampus but i was wrong,diorang mmg giler...mcam yang orang uar2 kan sbelum nie..maybe terlebey sedut formula physics kot.

ala..lambat laun aq jadik giler mcam diowang tu...

i never thought yang aq bley ketawa giler2 mcam tu dengan diowang.

but hey,you never expect what will turns to you right??

sooo, fews senior dah mmg aq kenal sbelum nie,jadi x la aq rase canggung sangat...

hehhhe...and they all tersangat la suke ambik gambar, i don't know y.don't even bother to ask me.aq pown x taw...it's kind of habit taw.nampak jew ad camera dekat tangan trus je posing...lol...

then,tangan aq pown da letey...sooo aq end dekat snie je la..

pew2 pown,i'll try spend few min update aq nye blog next time k....hhehehe^^

2010-07-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

theres still a lot n lots of thing that i want to share,

but the time got very jealous with me..

apa yang dapat aq share, minggu nie dah masuk minggu yang ke-3 aq masuk U+T,

it was fun,after all i know i can manage myself here.

i got lots n lots of friend..seriously i never had such older friend,i mean much much older than me,

n sumtimes, i slip my tongue,berbahasa "aq kau",kidda rude but thats how we talk..

we become closer in a minute.

i had learn new life that i never thought that i will be,

the variety of culture, i dont mind mix with them, nope,not at all..

i love here..

for the first time aq rase sumthing yang x pernah aq rase selama nie,

say whatever you want to say,

i'm happy as i am now,

i'm learning, learn on how to survive,

learn on becoming me, MYSELF

my friends, i'm glad i know them,

my roomates, my classmate, they all nice to me.

yes, yes, i- some part of me are changing from time to time.

i'm not admit that i've grown up already,but after all i am a grow up women..

i like the word "MAHASISWI"

BECAUSE I ONE OF THEM...

university and school are totally different,

here,i'm trying to grab everything.

i want all the knowledge all by myself.

i want to study everything, i want to grab every chance that i have,

i want to be EVIL in study...

I WANT IT ALL BY MYSELF-ALL OF IT...

2010-07-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

when the time past,

you will know what were you missing..

and when that time comes there's no use crying over the spill milk.

i don't know

2010-07-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

hurmm....few days left before aq masuk u...

and i admit i know nothing...

every time ayah aq tnyer ape yang aq balajar nanti, slalu aq speechless..

yes i know nothing, but doesn't mean i'll never know what will i learn...

aq bukan nak bagi excuse or whatsoever, tpi that's the fact, macam mana aq nak tahu kalau aq x blajar lgi...

okey la, mmg la selalu orang cakap kalau apply satu2 kos tu, better la tahu ape yang akan dipelajari nanti, so that you can get ready and x kene kejutan budaya nanti...

ya..ya...ya...bla...bla..bla...

wasn't like i don't want to hear it..i just i'm tired of it..

nak kata macam mane erk, just let say it does not fit on me...

aq bukan jenis study menda yang akan aq blaja nanti..get it.

only few je yang aq buat, itu pown kalu aq betul2 giler2 minat benda tu...

sooo i'm truly sorry, i'll study hard and do as best as i can!!!

the other side of me~

2010-06-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

i don't really know what is actually i want..

seeing my old friends gather,is made me jealous.

yeah...i don't even know why i've being such a childish..

i wish i was there too, laughing, make some jokes, share our old story,

but the other side of me wont let me...

i used to use a lot of excuse every time they ask me out.

although most of the excuses are true.....

the cat got my tongue~

2010-06-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

puhu~puhu~

since when aq jadi budak penyepi nie bile duk kat meja makan???

hurrmmmm...unless my mom ad skali ngan aq....

really don't like everytime diowang duk menggosip kehidupan orang lain..

"helllerrr, they have their own life",buat ape nak sibuk jage tepi kain orang..

sampai aq pun xder selere nak makan....hate it everything they 're complaining bout others...

diri sediri x perfect ade aty nak cakap sal orang lain pulak.

hurrrmmmmm....

hidup nie sume x same, xkan semua orang nak buat perkara A je, the rest??

xberkembang la...

you got your own problems and they got their own problems.so what's the problem?

pe kes nak campur urusan orang lain.

listen, if you guys talk and complain about other's life behind their back,

and it caused you get sins, then i suggest you better stop...

it wont help.

i hate listen to those kind of topics, being hypocrite every time they ask me my opinion.

it's a dumb.

even yourself is not that perfect, why still you want to make other people's life perfect in your eyes??

you are not God to turn everything like you want to...

everyone has their own probs, mind your life first before you start complaining about others.

gOt oFfer~finally

2010-06-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

well there's nothin i can say here anymore,

i'm moving...moving to a different place.

not the blogger, me laaa.....

i got an offer.i'm going to UMT a.k.a Univerity Malayasia Terengganu.

i'll be enrolling on 4 july...sooo bye bye homey...

although it just less than 2 weeks left,still i'm 'doneless'...

doing nothing...

the list-to lazy to write

searching and applying for scholarship-damn!!!tired!!

packing my stuff-not in once...adoii~

am i worried to much??

hey i already left once, so there's no biggie if i left twice.

i'm just worried about my mom i guess.

no ones will help her.

my lil sis??hurrmmmm, wondering.

even my mom already said, whose gonna help her in the kitchen once i gone.

thanks to the 'kakak'.for lunch, she'll help mother since my mom's working...

i hope she'll be fine.shes my mother after all.bionic mother.

just pray for it.everything's going to be just fine.

is this me??

2010-06-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

i don't want him in my dream,

not even once,

i don't want him in my mind,

not in single day,

i don't want him replying my message,

although i want it so freaking bad...

i don't want you to be so kind,

because it gives me a hope,

a hope that will never be mine.

i don't want you to be this close,

although i might crying if you left me behind.

i don't want to have a love between us,

even a friend's love,

because it might turning me into the other side of me

that i don't want it to be.

this reckless things..

what suppose i do with you??

leaving you made me feel empty,

close to you made my heart in pain,

be with you is my only wish,

apart from you is the best choice though.

buat teman...

2010-06-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

baru sebentar aq chatting bersama sahabat lama aq,

lama benar rasanya tak bertukar khabar.

terasa diri begitu kerdil....

seperti aq tidak punyai apa2 disamping nya..

tapi alhamdulillah, dia masih lagi menganggap aq temannya

dan masih sudi berborak denganku.

betapa gembiranya aq pada saat itu.

aq selalu berfikir siapa lah aq bersahabat dengan orang sepertinya,

aq langsung tiada kelayakan untuk berdamping disisinya...

ye la, aq siapa dan dia siapa...dulu sama sekarang dia lagi berpengetahuan dari aq..

segan setiap kali aq berborak dengan dia..

tapi lama kelamaan, aq tersedar...walaupun lain cara kami tapi kami diperbuat dari tulung rusum yang sama...

kami tetap manusia di bawah kuasa yang sama.

aku adalah aku dan dia adalah dia..

kenapa aq nak bersegan dengan sahabat aq sendiri??

aq patut lebey banyak belajar mengetahui erti kehidupan ini...

tidak bermaksud aq perlu ikut rentak dia...

aq gembira kerana ini diriku dan itu dirinya...

aq tidak perlu menjadi sesiapa, hanya aq...

terima kasih teman kerana membuka mataku...

memberi aq kesedaran cahaya dunia ini...

i'm stuck

2010-06-13T07:53:00.001-07:00

for God sake, i don't want to fall in love with the same person again....

i rather stay single than falling in love with him. not now, not forever,please....

i just can't....

2010-06-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

for God sake, i don't want to fall in love with the same person again....

i rather stay single than falling in love with him. not now, not forever,please....

i just can't....

2010-06-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

Brape lame lgi aq nak bertahan??

sampai bila perlu aq bertahan..

it just, aq betul2 tertekan sekarang.

geram dengan diri aq nie sebab xdapat nak buat apa2.

imaginasi semata2 yang dapat menenangkan aq,

yang dapat meyakin kan aq bahawa semua ini hanya sementara sahaja.

tapi sampai bila??

bukan niat aq bertindak demikian, senyap bukan bermaksud aq benci.

tiada dapat dapat aq lakukan melainkan berdiam diri.

aku adalah aku.

terasa seperti hidup ku didalam badan boneka.

tiada apa yang dapat aq lakukan, selain daripada mengikut rentak mereka.

bukan nyawa ku ingin ku pertahankan, tapi mereka yang aq sayang.

mengapa begitu susah untuk mereka fahami,

mengapa begitu berat untuk ku lauhkan.

sakit aty

2010-05-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

xder pew pun yang nak dicakap kan...

just nak mencarut skit jew...

aq ada sowang kawan nie, yang skew giler nak mampus perbodahkan aq.

which slalu buat aq sakit aty..

geng2 dy tu xnampak ke side buruk dy??

baik kunun....baik ur ****

geram nak mampus!!!

urrrggghhh!!!!

manusia zaman sekarang~

2010-05-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

okay....first of all aq nak cakap satu je "please ukur baju kat badan sdirik diri dlu"

Aq mmg serious s**t! x skew betul orang yg skew jaga tepi kain orang lain nie...

CUKUP ANTI!!

Law yg diikthiraf tu xper la..nie yg selamba badak air jew nak komplain sal owang lain pe kes??

diri sediri pun lagi teruk ade aty nak complain...benci btul aq kat orang mcam nie....

uurrgghhhhh...serious can't stand it!!

i had enough~~

2010-05-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

where should i start??

well, ENOUGH...

Enough is enough...

just stop everything what you're doing

cause i'm tired with it..

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL??

you made me become like this.

i don't want to hear anything anymore.you hurt, i'm hurt too...

i can't pretending anymore.i'm becoming someone else...

i know, i know i need not to be this weak,and i even kept reminding myself,

there's still a lot of people facing a much much much difficult life.you should be proud because your life is not as mess as they are...

but i can't.it's their life, every life have a different life, so do mine...

i'm a weak...yes indeed, that's why i can't stand it anymore.

i'm a weak till i started to think about running away from my home.

from my own life..but i couldn't do it...because of you...because of everyone...

i know it's not only me who suffered like this.

i know i shouldn't act selfish.

it just that i couldn't stand it anymore..

blog is everything for me now.

it's the only place i can let it out.

i'm trying not to burden anyone anymore..i'll be happy in front of them,

pretending that i'm okay that i'm not...

susah2...

2010-05-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

makin lama, makin rase complicated...

uurrggghhhh!

i hate this situation...!!

TIRED WITH EVERYTHING!!!

da thing i do n i don't

2010-05-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

kadang2 aq pun ad terfikir, ape sebenarnya motif aq buat benda tu...

any kind of thing...i do it for no reason.it's like kerbau yang kne cucuk hidung-sorry no gud in peribahsa ^^

kadang2 aq suka when someone praised me.(i guess that can't be help)

kadang2 aq x faham apa yang diowang cuba nak sampaikan...

-diorang yang xreti nak sampaikan or aq yang x faham bahasa sebenarnya??

whatever....

ya...whatever...i used to use that word "whatever".but now,it's not whatever anymore.

no matter how many times i kept on telling myself "it's okey, it just a normal thing happen to everyone.they face the same thing as you did so whatever"

it's a long time ago, but i can't do it anymore. i wish to be a puppet, they got no feelings at all. but hey i'm just who i am. a person.i got feelings.

ada jugak kadang2 aq xtahan sampai ad masa aq tertanya dri sendiri :"kenapa aq kne layan diorang, tahan perangai diorang sedangkan satu benda pun aq xdapat, bahkan diorang sendiri treat aq lagi worst?"

then i realized something, instead of merungut n dapat dosa x memasal why don't i buat je dengan ikhlas, hati x sakit n aq xdapat dosa.orang pun suka..

it is hard to do it, but no pain no game...

sape kata hipokrit tu senang nak buat, i admit even aq mmg slalu buat. and i noe i need to get rid of it......you know something??menda tu kadang2 membantu jugak ada masa nya...

i know i'm not gud enough. so sometimes being hypocrite help me a lot.bukan aq berpura2 without reason k...i do it because i don't want to hurt others feeling.

and the consequences_ i'm hurt

i'm a strong girl so the pain will heal as fast as u can't imaging ^^

i'm not kid anymore....i've grown up.

aku tahu, cara yang paling cepat bila aq tension, aq lepas kat owang sekeliling aq...

yes aq memang suka luahkan sakit aty aku nie...n i'm sorry guys coz u have to listen everytime aku membebel.....

i shouldn't do that.i'll try to avoid it next time bile kite lepak k..i won't talk about it anymore...

i don't want you guys get bored with me. tell me if i'm toooooooooo complain about my life...

few weekS moRE...~

2010-03-31T05:02:00.000-07:00

well i know,i know aq patut nyer lebey 'tumpu' pada study, n less online...

tambah plak tggal brape kerat ary je lagi nak final exam...wat is wrong wif me again??

hemmmm...masalah sistem metabolisma yang x stabil..ngeee~

well cam bese yang mencarut je lebey dari berbahasa...hemmm...

nak kate kes nervous sal nak exam, x jugak kot...kot la kan..hehehhe..

pe aq nie..korang faham??faham...even aq x faham, juz rambling like i always did...

i miss my pamili velly velly bad....huhuhuhuhu...seyes x sabar nak balik n berdepan ngan dunia animasi aq...dah byk da plan lam kepala otak nie, which is i dunno either could make it or not...hahahah...

fuuuu~.....tic toc tic toc da clock is ticking...gotda hurry...banyak lgi chapter yg x cover...

n just now aq bru jer tertengok gambar sepupu aq upload kat lam FB..perrghhhh...

bahagia nyer diowang picnic...wishing i was there too..hemmm...

wake ain!!!u need to face wif da reality first...soo stop dreaming n finish ur work first...

haipppp......

bEtween a gooD FrieNd And A baD frIend

2010-03-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

i never face this kind of situation before...

so it's new for me, which is I don't know how to handle it.

I end up with not talking and it's cause a lot of pain deep deep in my heart.

I hate myself cause i can't help her, i hate myself for being too care about her although she cause a lot of pain in my heart..i hate myself cause i can't hate her.

I might not a good friend, but i do, i do concern about her..she still my friend though.

there's no way a friend left their friend behind.

why can't she understand what i'm try to do??is she misunderstood what i'm trying to do??

i might not a good friend, but still i'll help them if they need me lend my hand_ without any hesitation I will..i will be there for them(insyaAllah)....but why everytime i tried to help her she just walk away like i was trying to be a hypocrite to her.

I don't know how to refuse,i don't know how get mad with someone for too long, i don't know how to cheer people up, but still i'm trying...

i tried to be a good friend to everyone, but it's harder than i thought..

i think maybe i just should stay be a bad friend..if that makes her happy.

it'S always Like this~

2010-03-13T03:29:00.000-08:00

sudah menjadi kebiasaan bila time nak final exam....

tambah pulak, it's going to the last exam for us_matriculation students.

sakit nak habis_althought it's only a few weeks left...less than a months..

tpi still rase macam lama jer masa berlalu..

got stress out too sudden sampai xsempat nak prepare ape2 dri segi mentality n sebaliknya, which is its suck for me...

can't think of anything else_got nervous every time i think about 'it'...

cepat2 nak habis matrik then bley rse kebebasan for a few months before kne torture balik dekat u nanti...hemmm..penak jadik dengan aq nie??

y am i feel soo down??rase x macam nie before dis..

totally lack of confy....belum masuk dewan exam lagi tapi dah set dalam kepala xley buat...

wasn't like me at all...hemmmm.....please need help here!!!

2010-03-06T08:48:00.000-08:00

kadang2 bukan semua yang kita nampak itu indah..
bukan semua yang kita sangka itu baik,akan terus kekal baik...
xsemua yang kita impi membahagiakan...

makin dewasa makin mengenali dunia_itu yang diajar bagi setiap manusia.
hanya manusia yang mengenal manusia,
tapi bukan semua manusia yang mengenal hati manusia...

manusia 'makan' sesama manusia sudah pun menjadi sebatian dlam trend terkini.
sudah pun mamai didengari bgi mereka si pendengar...
apakah ini pengakhiran dunia??

2010-02-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

hemmm..need to control my temper..

it worst even more...

i moody at da wrong place and at da wrong timing..

cincha biyaneo~

KeseWelan~

2010-02-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

ArrggHHhhhhhh!! result da kuar, tu boleh trima, rase okey kot..

hemmmmmm..nothing much i can share ( xder mood everytime ingat sal nie)

planning nak balik umah esok, tpi x bagi thu my mom lagi..tah pe2..pada hal xder ape2 pun

*xnak menyusahkan sebenarnya, law suh member ambik jadik gosip lak..

hemmmm..susah tul la law owang yang kurang pengertian bahasa nie

Benci tul r..esok plan nak balik hari nie byak tul masalah...nie macam mmg nak kne tukar hp nie...charger lak wat hal(actually x tahu either charger or hp sbenarnya yang buat hal) yang pasti x ley nak charge!! tnyer owang dpan bilik, alamak puak nokia la plak..hemmm...

nasib baik ade hp samsung lgi satu tu..ley r tahan kot sampai balik umah..hemmm..sabar jela....

gara2 stu benda abih sume x jadi..last2 aq lepas kat penyapu..menyapu la aq tadi malam2 buta, lepas geram..at least lepas geram pada benda yang tepat..kiranya berguna jugak la aq nie berbandingn ngan owang lain lepas geram dengan menda x berfaedah.. * har har har

seriously aq nyer perasaan pun da mix_rapture took over, followed by geram n serabut...giler2 lam bilik ngan roomate, memandangkan roomate cina aq yang sowang tu da balik petang tadi ( for chinese new year)...tgk dak cina balik, ader jugak dak melayu sibuk2 nak selik skali..pe da...ingat skit, kuliah ader lagi esok..

petah diowang nie..berlagak bijak kot..

**kongkang ko x taw?? kongkang nie species berok, tangan dier panjang taw, dalam species berok, kongkang nie yang paling bangang skali,paling lombab!!

tah pe2(came without no where)

dA placE_noT for Me

2010-02-02T12:58:00.000-08:00

For the first time setelah sekian lame nye...aq naik temper..temper yang bukan calang2 punyer..

habis sume orang sekeliling aq nak telan..

sowwy to say but i really not in da mood that time..pada sume yang kne sumpah seranah dengan aq tu..sowy once again but i wont apologize..u deserved that...stupid..arrrghhh it makes me angry again...

to be honest this matric is suck...worst than everything i ever felt..service yang lembab macam siput..even worse than siput taw..n the workers yang sangat da kurang da ajar...makes me wanna puke..bodoh..stop boasting around about urself if ur job is just like cuci kasut student jer..takat keje handle kedai jer, baik x yah..aq boleh jer tabur duit gaji korang kat lantai k...

i told u oready dont even mess up wif me..temper aq pun bertempat jugak..bagi muka, bagi la jugak...i'm a student n u just a worker,a low level workers..soo korang bley fikir2 sdirik la erk...

_itu kesan bila owang da start kurang ajar dengan aq_

i can make it even worse than u ever expected...

_c****** ma**********N P****g_name da bagus_tpi owang cam sial,sistem teruk nak mampus..server lambat n truk giler...nak update blog pun kne buka 2 3 4 5 6 7 hari bru bley buka...bhgian H** plak,duk buang mase habiskan duit menda x berfaedah(juz a few yg ad benefit) ..mintak jana tuk surau nak kne sertakan berjuta2 alasan, karoke onn 24 jam..dah kalau pengarah sendirik pun ske karoke pandai2 je la korang fikir sdirik..

better habiskan ma**** nie cepat2 n then get out from this place that are hell not capable wif me..never turn back..ever..

APABILA TERCETUSNYA TEMPER AQ

kne Balik..huhuuu~

2010-01-23T08:52:00.000-08:00

huwaaaaaaaaH*sambil membetulkan urat badan^^

hemmm..lama gak x blogging nie..tetiba jer trasa..heeeee~

fyi sbb dah nak balik matrik..

well tuk tontonan sume,mintak maap bebanyak la sbb sepanjang cuti 2 mggu nie aq langsung x post blog..ukan malas cuma berat tangan jer **selalu layan Facebook

sooo there're no pics yang boleh aq share ngan sume kat sni..aq ad post kat dalam FB sooo law sesape trasa nak taw aq wat pe cuti 2 mggu tu, korang jenguk2 la aq kat FB k..ngeeeeeee~

soo baju x pack lagi,petah lagi barang2 yang lain..mom's gonna kill me if she find out bout this *just pray....

sekarang lak membusy kan dri dengan melayan Super Junior..LOL..

UNTUK MEREKA YANG BELUM TAHU,SUPER JUNIOR BAKAL MENGADAKAN KONSERT DI STADIUM BUKIT JALIL PADA 20 MARCH NANTI..

sooo sape yang die hard fan Suju...pergi la beramai2...hahahha..

teringat plak kat adik aq sowang nie, yg tergila2 kan kumpulan suju nie..ngeeeee~

kesian dy, tahun nie dah la PMR so faham2 jela..

tpi aq rase law x exam besar pun still ayah aq x kasi nyer...agak nya adik aq sanggup lari dri umah tuk satu hari kot semata2 nak tgk suju..**(mampuih aq law dy baca blog nie)

sooo bla bla bla..tu la tabiat aq, hemmm...okey la at least aq rase aq da bley start bebel n merapu2 nie meaning aq da kembali normal la, memandangkan terlalu banyak sangan dugaan n cabaran kat umah aq nie kat..bru duk smggu kat umah...lom time abih matrik lagi..i'm dead meat after this. planning to stay at my sis's house*(she's the one who suggest it first) ngeeeee~

well,sekecil2 tapak tangan sebesar2 badan aq, aq trima..hahaha..well expect the unexpected..

ape2 bley terjadi dalam 1 saat, ini kan plak dalam beberapa bulan lagi..

okey got to go, nak pack bju malas, rase nye tido trus kot..hehhe..lousy me &__&v

kiss kiss hug hug eww eww..@__@

anoTher UPS

2010-01-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

few days left before ups...

i thought that after ups i can go home..

but then, i was being told that i still have 2 days left before i can go home..

which is make me not me...

WHAT??!! 2 MORE DAYS HERE??

n still got a class after that??

huh??!!

am i da only one that acting like this or there's a few behind me??

mannn.....y can they skip da class??hemmmm...

why must friday the end of the class??

well at least i'm still manage to go back rite??

n was hoping that this time my plan will went smooth....

if not_someone better not come close to me,

or not, I KILL THEM!!

NGGGGGEEEEEEE~~~

sIndRom_

2009-12-18T22:38:00.001-08:00

Kadang2 aq x faham kenapa cepat sangat seseorang tu berubah fikiran...

kadang2 aq rase macam aq berada dalam satu permainan..

game dimana bila aq dah nak menang, tetiba peraturan dy ditukar...

then nak x nak aq kne restart balik..

no matter how hard i tried to win, still aq tetap tersangkut kat dalam game tu...

macam bom jangka masa, bebila je aq boleh kalah..

semua macam atas kehendak orang yang mulakan permainan nie..

xkira walaupun aq dah cuba untuk give up dalam game nie,

still aq terpaksa..bodoh!

aq x faham ape yang orang dewasa fikir, apa motif semua ni berlaku,

atau aq nie mmg da jauh tersimpang dari landasan aq nie??

makin aq meningkat dewasa, makin aq x faham dunia nie..

rasa macam puppet, kadang kala rase mcam hamba, hamba manusia_

buat semua perkara berlandaskan arahan,

aq xder kemahuan aq sendiri....

atau aq yang tahu ape kemahuan aq sendiri..

kadang kala aq rase lebih baik aq jadi budak kecil,

yang tidak thu keadaan sebenar dunia sekeliling nie..

hanya pelangi disekitar, tiada darah, tiada keganasan....TIADA KEPATUHAN

atau aq yang terlalu complicated??

2nd sem_neW liFe oR still Da samE LiFe?

2009-12-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

Untuk pengetahuan semua, sekarang matrikulasi sudah pun mengalami proses 'penuaan' untuk kali yang ke berapa tah dimana students telah masuk ke alam di panggil 'second semester'

*eisyen fikiran fatasy mempengaruhi time niey

dan untuk pengetahuan semua,terlalu banyak sangat yang terpaksa aku lalui dalam proses 'penuaan matrikulasi' nie....banyak perkara baru yang aku alami dimana sukar untuk aq ungkapkan...hanya perlu dialami sendiri.......tpi jikalau diberi pilihan untuk melukan sekali lagi_aku berundur awal2....

korang mesti xpercaya kalu aq cakap yang aq pernah mengalami ape itu 'gila'...

ada jugak aq tertanya macam mane gila tu_i felt it oready_n its pain...

alhamdulillah_aq bersyukur dengan keadaan aq sekarang,sekurang2 nya aq dah pun tersedar dan masih mampu kembali berfikiran waras... aq mampu lgi berpijak dibumi yang tidak ternilai harga nya....dunia yang mengajar aq dan menunjuk aq banyak perkara....

mungkin aq masih 'mamai' dengan keadaan sekitar aq_tpi at least aq da hampir tersedar

-di mana meyebabkan aq makin buntu_

buntu untuk mencari jawapan untuk diri kehidupan aq ini...

jantung aq berdegup untuk apa??

untuk apa aq berada di tempat aq sekarang ini??

untuk apa aq lakukan semua ini??

dan jawapan yang aq nanti2 kan dan yang aq harap2 kan_

HANYA KERANA DIA YANG MAHA ESA_

aq tetap akan menunggu sehingga sampainya hari itu_dimana aq faham semua ini...

aq tidak mengharapkan apa2 hanya sekadar sepihan memori di atas dunia ini...

mencari diri sendri bgi aq bukanlah satu perkara yang patut DIPANDANG RINGAN.....aq secara jujur buntu dengan kehidupan aq ini..

hanya berbekalkan sedikit harapan_

aq lakukan ini untuk mencari jawapan...jawapan untuk diri aq....

mungkin aq x masih belum cukup pengetahuan sebb tu aq masih tercari2 apa yang paling penting sebenarnya.....

PUN BEGITU_I'M STILL SEARCHING...

ini bukanlah satu diari atau apa2_hanya coretan dari serpihan hidup aq yang x seberapa nie...bukan niat aq untuk menunjuk keegoan atau meraih simpati_hanya mengeluarkan keresahan didalm hati ini..

aq sendiri x tahu sama ada ini diri aq yang sebenarnya, atau ini bru permulaan bagi hidup aq..

wallahualam....terserah...

SoRrY..bUt ThEy aLL RUDE!!

2009-11-14T23:44:00.000-08:00

pGi smaLam, aq dapat panggilan dri kakak aq_

cakap yang aTuk aq meninggaL pagi tu around kul 10...

tersentaK aq_aq ingatk' mane la taw yg kakak aq bergurau,

but hey,that's totally wasn't a joke, if it was_that's really a bad n stupid joke ever_

hemm__okey forget bout it, well after that terkocoh2 aq nak siap2 nak fikir plak balik ngan sape_

thank god uncle aq call, n he's willing to take me at Matrik!!

satu kje da selesai_oh god!...kepala plak sakit time2 sampai tu..hemmm..sabar2..

aq kne kuat...

then sampai je kat umah, mmg da ramai owang_

silap aq gak sebab bju yang aq pakai x kne_

stupid me again..hemm...

sooo masuk salam2 n then masuk bilik dimana arwah aq berada..

sebak....but hey,i need to be strong_not now_sooo i hold my tears till NOW...

i won't cry_no not yet_

then masuk bilik_my parents x de soo sdikit kucar kacir la umah aq_

aq plak xthu nak wat ape_

finally i end up at the kitchen_kemas ape yang patut

****_aq ingat ape da yang berlaku pastu coz i'm toooo busy!!

then selepas di kebumikan_the things just happen>>

aq ingat semua berjalan dengan lancar,

mane la thu_after atuk aq dikebumikan tu

things turns to be more complicated_

bukan la korang fikir2 kan tu_

it's not like then suddenly atuk aq bangun or wat so ever..

niey pasal attitude diowang_anak beranak atuk aq_

adik bradik ayah aq _aq memang x nak jadi kurang ajar dalam hal nie_

tapi aq tetap nak cakap_

INI UNTUK TELADAN KORANG SUMER JUGAK

SOOOO...

malam smalam family aq decide buat tahlil tuk arwah atuk aq terus_

malam tu lepas maghrib aq ngan adik aq kuar p beli

pinggan, cawann sudu n garfu>>

sooo to be honest memang kalut2 smalam...

xpernah aq alami sbelum nie mase arwah atuk aq lagi stu belah mak..

ade jugak yang bodoh2 buat bodo kat situ...

pe jadah..

aq xkisah r kalu korang nak marah aq atau ape beli ko bce seterusnya nie..

sebab serius bile kne kat batang hidung korang sdiri nanti bru korang tahu..

masalah nie bukan pasal bilangan adik beradik belah ayah aq skit ke banyak..

thats not the point..

even semua owang cakapkan yang semua benda boleh jadi lancar dengan adanya KERJASAMA..

BENGANG..MEMANG AQ BENGANG..

xtak sangka taw yang aq ada jugak sedara mara yang macam tu..

(well just in case sape2 yang terasa_SIAPA MAKAN CILI DIA YANG RASA PEDAS)

ini kenduri tahlil untuk ayah diowang_agak2 r_

jangan perbodohkan diri sdiri depan orang lain

even aq yang berumur 18 nie pun boleh berfikir..

petah diowang yg slalu cakap dah makan asam garam lebey dari aq nie_

kenapa??sebab terlebey makan garam ke jadi macam tu??

aq memang dijar untuk hormati orang lebih tua_yg sebaya or even yang muda dari aq_

tpi kalu orang da mula pijak kepala_n then buat something yg mencabar kesabaran aq dan orang yang aq sayang_well soorry, there's no mercy for you all..

jangan harap nak suruh aq layan macam VVIP..

betulkan aq kalu aq salah_

xsilap aq kalu orang datang umah time kita buat tahlil or kenduri ape2 dimana yg ad connection ngan dia_patutnya utamakan tetamu dulu..

itu yang aq belajar_nie tak..sama join makan dengan tetamu bahkan tetamu pun x makan lgi..

pe da jadi??terbalik plak??

ke aq nie yg silap??

acu terang skit dekat aq sape2 yang thu??nak jugak aq MENUNTUT ILMU NIE...

ini tahlil tuk ayah diorang ke sape yg meninggal nie_tadi bukan main aq tgk diowang duk nangis2 lebey dri budak kecik_sbelum nie mase atuk aq ade lagi_jarang plak datang nak melawat atuk aq kat umah aq nie_time arwah aq duk dalam hospital_xplak datang volunteer nak jage atuk aq ke ape_klau ad yang datang_boleh cakap umpama 5 minit sampai 1 minit dah nak bla....

harapkan pada owang yang same jer jage_ape kes??ke MEMANG MACAM TU??AIK??PELIK AQ....

dah tu mak aq tersenggup2 kat dapur_muka dah merah kepenatan macam dah xley nak bangun_tahan lagi mak aq_dah tu yang lain mane??adik beradik belah ayah aq mane??

habuk x de yg nak tolong kt dapur_sume nak duk dalam AIR COND blakerrr...nasib baik adik mak aq datang bley la hulurkan tangan skit_

xtahu la camner kalu aq, adik aq n kakak aq xder...hemmm...sedih aq_sakit dada aq than taw_

..................aq x kisah kalu diorang nak complain, tapi dengan syarat

'tangan pun skali buat kerja'

tu jer yang aq nak_diorang lebey tua dari aq_patutnya tunjukkan la teladan yang baik untuk yang muda_aq kali nie mmg x boleh tahan dengan certain2 orang_mmg dah hilang rasa hormat aq..kalu bukan nak jage air muka parents aq, sampai skunk aq still lgi bersabar_aq luahkan dekat sini jer..biarlah, aq sayangkan keluarga aq lagi...

baik aq telan je...sebak aq, sebak sangat2...

yang yang kurang pertalian ngan diowang plak yg sanggup buat kerja2 niey sume..

aq nak cakap, nak pesan awal2---pergi umah orang, agak2 la,

kita nie pergi skolah, ade ilmu..even yang tua, jangan duk cakap kat mulut,

duk ajar kat anak tpi dilri sdiri x buat...

umah owang lain mcam umah kita jugak..

jangan anggap mcam restoran_

kitaowang x knekan gov tax pun kat korang...

hormat la kitowang skit....dah di sediakan tempat menginap, makan minum..

ape yang aq nk hanya la sedikit hormat dri korang sume---

kami yang da x cukup tangan, tambah lgi ngan perangai buruk korang...

pepandai la fikir mne baik buruk nyer...

jangan sampai satu tahap menda tu kne kat batang hidung korang sdiri..

FIKIR-FIKIR KAN LA......

lonG time....I guEsS~

2009-11-12T03:10:00.000-08:00

laMe dah ke aq x update aq nyer blog??

terasa lama la plak....

geheee~~

law bley tiap2 ary aq posting,tpi nak wat camner kan..

xder topik...

well after a long time(bagi aq la)

bru ari nie aq sempat curik skit mase online_alang2 tu update aq nyer blog

nie pun actually tengah tunggu solat isyak,

malas nak ambik wudhuk 2 3 kali...

ghee~~

after solat, aq da kne start sambung buat homework aq...

alhamdulillah, time table for this sem menyenangkan aq..

x la kalut2 nak siapkan...at least i can manage my little time..

tadi bru ade perjumpaan koku_

aq xthu nak meloncat ke or terduduk,

coz aq dapat kelab silat_

never expected that kelab..haR HAr haR to Me....

but thanks to En.Azman...sbb dy yg akan conduct praktikum kitaowang..

*yey!

soooo_skunk da start sem_this week is the first week,

rase cam lambat jer mase berlalu lately..

maybe sebab terlalu lame 'brehat' kot....

well can't wait for this coming raya haJi...

can go back home_although tiap2 mggu bley balik sbenarnya..

tpi mase jer yg kurang mengizinkan kot..

hemmm_can't wait this comin' raya haJi meaning,

that I can't wait my final exam result...huhuh^^

what type of reaction should i make after thIs..

yeppy yeppy!! for raYa, or sigh*** for result...

malas nak pk but eventually,

that things keep replay on my head..

har HaR hAr to me again.....

so pew2 pun tunggu je la aq latest blog nanti k...

is it me oR him?

2009-11-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

i always like starting my word wif hemmmm...Y??

because i'm can't stop thinking..

what am i thinking???

i don't even know...

it just lately, something interupting me...

i know i shouldn't think too much,

but i can't help it...

he's the one who need to be blame on,

then why am i still feeling hurts??

he don't even says sorry back to me,

and i'm here waiting for him to say sorry..

i'm such a moron.

i'm 'domn' when comes about man,

about relationship,

i don't know how to handle it...

such a mess,

soo stupid right know...

why is it so hard to change??

why is it so hard to apologize??

you made me think that you're not appreciate our relationship..

is that you really want me to think??

or am i the only one that thought we are good despite we're not.

why?why?why?

i'M here aGaIn.....

2009-11-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

huhuhuu....rase macam xsampai 2 minggu cuti,tup2 da kne balik matrik..

i'm alone again today..sampai matrik buka pintu,

oooWWhhh..roomates aq lum balik agi..nampak gayanya keseorang la aq malam nie..

xramai yg balik ary nie, tak faham aq, ukan lusa ad MUET,

pesal diowang selamba jer balik lewat??xnak prepare ke diowang??

eleh aq pun dua kali lima gak ase nye,law ukan mak aq on call esok...

comfirm petang tu jugak aq bru bertolak dari umah aq..

ghheeeeeee~~ ^^

sad to say mmg aq tido sowang2 malam nie...

n skunk aq xleh tido n xder kje aq posting..

penak jadi.....bla bla bla....(kuat bebel lately_can't help it)

sooo tomorrow morning aq kne bgun awal KOT...hehhe~

saje nak kuar outing, although bru balik bercuti..

well i don't call it holiday cause, aq x langsung x trasa..huhuhu T__T

n i don't even know motif aq posting nie..merapu2...

maybe sbb aq tgh cuba nak tido,but end up kat depan lappy.....hemmm..

baik cuba tido...

poko poko poko (>_<)~

nOne titLe~

2009-10-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

hemmmm...to be honest aq betul2 celaru sekarang nie_

everything seems to be wronged in my eyes...

maybe aq terlalu banyak berfikir kot_

lately ada satu ayat yg kept repeating on my head_making me become..

errmmm,well let just say not me..stupid me..

i don't want to hate anymore..all i wish right now is to have a little peace in my mind_

i want to clear up everything, but seems like 'it' wont let it happen...

don't ever know whom i'm reffering 'iT'...

stupid broken english...(since when did i care??)hemmm...

i just wanna be happy, that's all...

i hate for being grown up, become a teenages are sooo hard..

how i wish my life end here...

no matter how many times i tried to be happy,

at the end i'm just a hypocrite...

i'm sorry, i'm sorry for not trying a little harder...

i can't...do it anymore somehow..

i need a time,a time where i can be myself again

but i'm sure, it wont be my old self again..

they made me being like this..

n i can't stop from hating them..

truly sorry...

~keGilaaN kamI~

2009-10-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

Geheee~~~~~...

gara2 kebosanan sangat punya pasal..aq ngan adik p jalan2 kat mesra mall..

dah la waktu tu da petang..sanggup kitowang meredah..hhehehehe...

sampai sane first thing yg kitwong p 'big aPple'...

xthu sape diantara kitaowang yg mengidam...(niy sbenarnya kes nak m'bazirkan duit jer)

ish3..pe nak jadi ngan kitawong nie...

n then abih trus bla ke burgEr king..sajew paw ayah aq sbb ye bgi kitaowang p sane kan..

hehehhe.....masuk jer trus order abih order sementara menunggu ad la incident skit..

yg buat kan aq rase perut aq nak pecah..heheh..tpi law aq bgi thu nie sure aq kne penggal ngan adik aq..

hahhha...baik xyah..let it be a secret..gheee~lagipun aq mmg x nak mati awal..

sooo...abih beli aq blanja adik aq starbucks...kesian la plak dia kan..hehhehe..lame x minum..

gelak punyer pasal sampai aq terorder air yg aq biasa order tu tanpa syrup...huhuhu..

sial pahit giler..sbb tu aq xske minum minuman owang dewasa nie lately...hehehhe...

malas nak berlegar2 kat stu coz xder pe2 yg nak di lihat..

kitowang pun wat la kje giler..

p lepak kat pantai..pantai pe tah aq pakat masuk jer..janji pantai udah ler...

alang2 tu..sambar r burger kitawong..niey kes sbb x nak kantoi ngan mak aq jer..

sbb aq da janji ngan mak aq waktu tu yg aq balik makan kat umah..mak aq masak lobster!!!..

gheeeeee~~

sooo alang2 tu nie la kje hasilan kitowang..

plastik burger nie awal2 kitaowang da disposed...ghehheh

kenyang makan_mase tuk xcersie^^

pandai2 r korang pk sdirik erk ape kne ngan adik aq waktu nie..

O.o

cubaan pertama nak terjun x jadi..sbb tggi.last2 aq terjun gak

poyo_aq pun x thu aq brangan ape waktu nie>>

yup...mmg x dapat disangkal lgi..tu mmg adik aq

soMetimes iT hurTs me tOo

2009-10-25T18:54:00.000-07:00

seriously kalau boleh aq xnak pun ambik thu sal ape2..

nak buat bodo jer....

but hey...u r my friend n i'm ur friend..xbleh ke kalu ko alert skit ngan prasaan aq...

aq pun ad prasaan jugak..jangan sebab kita berkawan lama so that ko leh buat jer ape yg ko suka...

i dont take orders from people okey...

kalu ko kenal aq then what is this all bout??

bukan aq yg mulakan dulu..tpi kau...

lame aq pendam..lame aq than bersabar dengan kau, but at the end..

ape yang aq dapat??sakit hati....

serious aq mmg x ske perasaan nie..dan aq xnak pun ade perasaan macam nie...

tpi makin lame aq tahan, sumetimes it hurts me too....

am i the only one yg cuba pertahankan persahabatan nie??

if so, then its worthless...

sabar...aq sabar...slama nie aq sabar...

cuba cari kesilapan aq, maybe aq nie yg aq problem..

tapi lame2, here's the thing i hate people who don't know value their friendship..

cakap la kalu nak cakap aq nie kuno ke ape..

aq x kisah..

mmg jenis aq yg xnak tggal kenangan lame..

kenapa??x puas hati??peduli....

aq tahan taw...

tapi kali nie mmg aq punya tahap kesabaran dah sampai limit...

aq ingatkan kau lain dri yg lain...tpi aq salah..ko mmg same jer ngan yg lain yg aq knal dlu...

baik aq kwan ngan kwan2 aq yg thu m'hargai aq dan persahabatan nie....

aq xharapkan simpati kau dan aq xnak simpati kau...

bru aq sedar dgn sikap pura2 ko tu..

betapa bodohnyer aq sbb terlalu lindungi kau..

aq bodo, bodo yg teramat..bodo kerana terlalu percayakan ko...

bodo sebab bg ko mengambil kesempatan...

kali nie aq xkan sesekali mintak maaf

sudah jemu, sudah puas aq membodohkan diri aq sdiri

pergi stu sni...'cuci' kau punyer kesalahan...

sesekali xkan...

_finaLy i'm hoMEy,bUt yet felt stranGe..??

2009-10-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

huwaaaaaaa!!!

akhirnya sampai jugak aq kat umaH---

walaupun dekat je umah aq ngan gambang tu(not practically)

kne naik bus lompat2(which is i totally hate this part)

habis muet around 1 o'clock

n then bile pk2 blik_better makan dlu sblum brangkat,

memandangkan pgi tu aq x srapan sbb nervous tahap karma_

sooo, p la makan ngan member muet aq_

n then kiss2 hug2 ngan diowang_balik blik, last check takut2 ade brg trtggl

solat n then bla...

nak tggu bus satu hal naik bus stu hal..

awal2 planning nak tggu bus rahmat alam_yg biasa aq naik

n then owang cakap bus tu maybe lambat-

sooo kenal je la aq camner, x ske menunggu...

then berjln la aq kuar dri matrik tu tggu kat bus stop_

pperrggghhhhhhh!!!panas giler time tu_da la serba hitam...

badan aq rasa cam da completely over cooked time tu_

then bus bee huat datang_alhamdulillah nasib baik_

soooo tggu je la sampai ke benteng---

dunno how long it takes coz aq terlali sambil dgr music_

sampai jer_trus aq carik bus sihat_fiuh_ade pun...

masuk jer_trus aq speechless---panas lgi...

huwaaaaaaaaa....mmg nasib aq kot..redha je la..

soooo..lame jugak r nak tggu bus tu jalan...

okey..part nie yg paling aq x ske_

bile bus da gerak mmg r stu kelegaan kan...

tapi yg jadi stu seksaan, sbelah aq mat banggla,

where i'm totally completely extremely dun like it..

n then kat blakang aq ad makyah yg aq pun x thu dia wat ape..

yg pasti mmg kaki dia x duk diam, duk tendang aq nyer sit ..

pastu x thu dri site mane ade owang hisap rokok

nak biru muka aq tahan nafas..

dah la mat banggla sbelah aq nie duk rapat2 bhu tersentuh paha..

makin aq duk rapat kat dinding makin menjadi2 plak..sabar je la aq

pastu duk tnyer tu la nie la...

ade nampak muka aq cam tempat kaunter pertanyaan ke???

sial...sampai je kat kemaman trun aq buka beg trus crik aq nye sanitizer..

huuuuuuu~~~

it's really gud to be back home---

then aq tggu je la sampai adik ngan cik su aq sampai_

~나의 심혼 안쪽에 깊은

2009-10-20T02:46:00.000-07:00

나는 다만 저것이 i 그를 사랑하는지 얼마이라고,

나가 그에게 말할 수 있었다는 것을 바란 멀리에서

응시해서 좋 그,

그러나 여하튼 그는 어떤 그 외에에 다만 속한다.

나는 그가 특별하다는 것을 나가 알고 있는 누군가,

나 그에게 말하고 싶다 그를 그의 눈에서 단지 저를 보는 원하십시오,

그러나 나는 그가 어떤 그 외에에 속하기 이기 때문에, 할 수 있지 않았다.

나가 바라는 방법 우리는 결코,

그래야 이 고통을 느끼는 저를 위한 필요 만나지 않는다.

나는 왜 저것 사랑해요지 얼마와 당신에게 말해서 수 있지 않는가?

느낌이 저의 앞에 그녀에 대해서 고통 언제나 당신

누구를 이야기하는지 왜 저 사람?

왜 나 가게 하십시오 당신이 할 수 있지 않는가?

당신은 왜 이어야 하는가??!!

p/s:sorry law ad grammatic error

~JusT accepT it_saY it OuT lOud!!

2009-10-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

haVe i ever Told u guyz,hows mY life here??

i mean the REAL life...

aWal2 aq masuk matrik---

nooo..

for da fiRst time aq terpaKsa kuar dri umaH aq,

berpisaH ngan family aq....

(terpaksa duk kaT hostel)

n i noe my life would be change

after i step out from my house>>>

seriuosly aq bukan jenis yG

"sharing iS carINg"

"shaRing is fuN"

kind Of thAt persON...

i kinD of donT like sharing my 'thingy' wif otheRs

well ukaN nye fully..ade jugaK aq kasi pinJam or kongSi ngaN diowaNg

taPi dadA aq keNe taHan r..saKIt_(tpi nie ukaN saKIt ati taw)

it jusT aq rase sOmething_yG aq..xskew r_

duNno y..

kadang2 benci Tu ad gak..

seBb aq maybe buaT owang lain trasa...

Tpi Itu duLu skunK aq mmG kne kongsI nGn kwan2 aq..

becoz_diowanG kwan Aq..

aq pk...darI aq selalU x skew_n

memandaNg aq kne stay LAme_

soo aq cuba_although aq still lagi daLam proses mencuBa..

tapi AlhamdulillaH, at least aq berjaya jugaK...

walaupuN prasaaN tu aq juGAk dataNG sometimes...

taPi dalam byaK2 perkarA,

there's onlY one thIng yg Aq stIll lagI x leH nak handLe drI aq nie>>

hygienity___hemmm__

ukan nak berKUrang..makIN menjadi plaK..

aq pun x thU da nak wat camner_

it jusT i CAnT face IT...

i duNT usuaLLy sHared my baThrooM wif otheRs except my familY..

n diowanG pun thU aq camner_

pandaI guNa pandai2 la Jage__

sooo hereS da Thing..

aq x thu living life diowNg camner kat umaH..

taPi kita sdiRi slalU dengaR kan..

perWaktaKan n chaRacter menunjukkan macaM mane kita sbenarnya

rite??

Yg paLIng PALING aq anTi..bile ade Yg pEriod n diowang pUnya

'stuff' x diowanG kat tempaT yg spaTUtnya..

aq ingat kan_time2 kat skolaH je ade kes MAcam nie_

mane tHUw...manuSia yG evEN ad AKAL pun wat camnie..

uuRRRgghhh__feels like wants to vomit right away...

daH gunA bilIk ari tu_pandai2 la jaGe__

nie deNgan benda2 xpaTutnyA..

HEY giRLS!!asHAmed oF uRselF...

wat malU jer....dah masUk maTrik pun AkaL pendeK lagI...

KALAU BELAJAR JER BIJAK TAPI MANNER XDER...

STILL I CONSIDER THEM AS A STUPID...

saPE yg TRasa tu tRasa la---i dont eVen care>bgus jugaK biar sedAr skiT..

FOR woMen..

kiTa nie da meniNgkat dewasa..soo menda2 camnie x sepatUtnya beRlaku....

kiTa nie pompUaN mUslIm..

sooo jadI la sePatutnYa kita Jdi...

even KdaNG2 aq rase sakIT ati...

dun even noe sape yg paTUt dipersaLahkaN...

temPat cucI pakaIAn..dalaM sinki tU..

aq ukaN nak mEngamuk pun laW nK basuH bekAs makaNan ke ape Kat sTU

it JUst dat_pk la...owang LAin pun NAk gunA...nie buang sisa makNAn kat lam sinKI..

basuH cawan MaNGkuk...buT at the enD..sisa tu tggl bodo macam tu..

HELLLERRR__xder owanG gaJI kat snie k..

donT even think tHAT someone will come n clean up aftER U spittINg...

naMe pun hosTel, herE we do iT by our owN...

aq PUn x perNAh laGI duk asrAma tapi tahu jer berfikiR..

n those people who smarter thaN did this??

sooo unexcusible...

herEs soMe advice//:

-people wonT respEct u if U dont tRy to resPect urselF firsT_startIng wif ur attituDe,manners....

-people will consider u if u try TO consider othERs first...

-firsT tiMe u a paRT fRom somEone thAt u loVE_doesnT mean u losT eveRythIng,

-be independenT, n shOw them u can surVIve_sooo theM can proud oF u....

lastlY plEAse duN act LikE a *****...(u noe wat i mean)

fiNaLy~

2009-10-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

AlhaMduliLlaH....

akhirnYa exaM pun da lepas...

bUt still aq xley naK balik umaH lagi..

heMMm...thInking BouT my MUET tomorrow Make me__

sOmetHing---somethinG that I rEEEEaaalLLY donT like it...

heMmm..xthu dah brape bYk aq tgk ciTEr ari Nie..

nak Terkeluar aq nyer bijik mata_

hemmm_was hopinG yang kaIn di ampaIan keRing harI,

memandangkan cuaca kuraNg baIk...

6 LebeY bguN

smalam Tidor daLam kul 2 lebeY_n skuNk still x samBung tidO lagI..

rase Ukan macaM dirI sendIri pLak (O.o)?

mY mind oreadY at hoMe..

hoW i wish to be at Home rite now...

daMn bOred n hopeleSs---

tHinking waT should i do nexT..

wanna pack my tHinGy_but To laZy-

n Still waiTIng for my baju To KeRing

nyesaL la plak kemaRin x bsuh_

shouldn't regret it now_

wat pass is passed__

waT sHOuld i do NExt_sittiNg on da chaIr n online till midnIte??

sOunds LIke my life totally sucKs rite now..

heMMM...

n Now my HEad thInking Bout foods..

duDe this is TotaLLy Physco---

hatE myselF tRied To plaY physco wiTh TheiR owN maSTer(T__T)

da PIcs_rAya tIme!!

2009-10-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

hEY guyzz..sOwi sbb bRu upLOad picz yg aq jAnji kAn ariTU..

can't blame me_coz aq Ad Final exAm _

noW i'm Free!!!

sooo Here's sOme pIcs Yg aq jaNji kan Tu..

x byK sbb gamBar2 nie drI aq punyer hp jER aq x sedUt dri hpone owang laIn

XDer mAse!!

tiMe nie sAbar je la aq_udaK2 kecik nIe brebuT nak leTak mane Kipas2 nie_famOus jugaK kipas aq_heeeeee~

da One in blue is Elin_n yg x terNampak muka tu Ilah_they always tOgethER...sooo, time nie diowanG kne Incharge Jage kitowang nyer 'Umah' whiLe da rest haVing A lunch outside da hall..

back In together_forgot la Time nie after Or b4 kitowang kuar makan

n tggL diowang inchaRge

yg Kat sbelah aq nie_atIn...sTu negeri je puN ngan Aq_hehehhe^^

udaK kecIK cumeL nie namer yEr zatY---

muKa maTure nak gilER, tpi bIle dah Wat prangai GileR...aq Pun speechLess_

(0.o)'''''''

da Only cHinese Yg ad laM aq nyER pRaktikuM__

diowaNG teMpat kItaowang caRIk gadUH..

at da end Aq yg sLalu kene BUli ngAn si buDak fOOng Nie...

FooNg is da one wiF oRenge_the left side_

stU lgi tu cheN yanG...

WeLl waLaUpun x bYk gaMbar, tapI cukup r tuk tontonAn koraNg sume___

Like It HatE it~haVe tooo

2009-10-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

apE la....

kind of WeiRd tapi Nak wat camner, redha Jer La....

Fyi Nak exaM pun KitaoWang bleH dikaTAkan bersuka Ria Lagi_sorT of>

ukan Ape Pun-jusT ad perTandiNgan Open hOuse,(peLik jer bunyI die Kan?)

nie ++nGan sAmbutan harI rYA gak r---

awaL2 mmG kitaoWang nyER claz xnak invOlved laNgsuNg r...

tapI few days b4 ari pertandingaN tu_i got a PHone call froM fOong_aq nyer ketUa kelaz_

di suh aq incHarge tuK udaK poMpuan yg AkaN terLibat laM benda nIe...

huh!well let JUst consider as a lAst MinuteS call_yela>aq waktu ad kT lam library tgh asaH otak Aq_tetiba plak dpT brita tu_daH la x prepare pe2 pun_like hELL aq duk busy caL owang siTU siNI..lRi bjet tOp up aq----

soOO at The eNd ari Yg dinaNti2 kan tU pun tiBa...

kitAowang serIUosly x de ape2 brg taU..sooo kne La crik alternatIve lain__recycle sume braG yg ade lAm bLik kitaowG...

berKat hasIL sume udak kelaz Aq_boys not included excepT fOOng n cheN yanG--

uDak laki LAin..haMpeh!!

sOO..ade la aq snAp some pics TUk koraNg sebgai Bukti kitaoWang waT keJe......Yag aQ AKn pOsT paS nie>>>

da AdrEnalIn~

2009-10-08T04:34:00.001-07:00

Hemmm...hemmmm...

never thought this thing could be exhausted...

tired with everything_

feelings empty...tried to wake up early sometimes_

but ended with 8 to 10 o'clock..*what's wrong with me lately?*

even the exam is just around the corner_

n even i could see my roomates struggle with their work_

but me??

okey--i did do my work,but not as often as them_

felt like i want to do it more,but i cant_

never complete my work practically...

hemmm___what had happen to me actually??

damn seriously i lost my spirit to study lately_

it supposed to be happening after the exam

not in the middle of having a war with exam!!

geeezzzz__

sometimes i just wanna to stay still on my bed covered with my comforter_

pretending to be dead...

# da Exam is JUst around dA coRner^^

2009-10-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

Huuuhhhhhhuhuh~

lots n lots of things need to study_

lack of sleep_not really actually

hemmmm__wat should i do??thats wat i kept asking myself lately

feels like a moron...everytime i'm do some revision_lots n lots of thing that i dont noe

*even the lecturer already tought*

kind of stress_but still got time sitting front of da lappy_online

well let just consider as to release this heavy stress...

i could say this is first time felt like kind of panic_

never face it before this_the MUET after the final exam which is gud n bad for me_

uurrgghhhh_feels like throwing out_cant focus on my study_

try to laugh_thats suck_almost make a ghost sound like....

try to forget everything unimportant,

fortunately_things oready mixed up_

hemmmm_focus_focus just for this month>>

pleeAassEEEE heLp me!!

huhuhuhu__

JOHNNY'S WOULD BE NICE...^ ^

wasn't that bad afTer ALL~

2009-10-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

B4 this aq ada bgitau kan yg aq..kind of hate Hari Raya..ish3..

x baik tul aq kan??kan??..well cant blame it coz waktu tu aq mmg emotional skit_

yela..bru balik dari matrik..sooo..antena pun xbtul lagi...

well_as far as i remember, aq nyer raya sangat best...aq skew..really i mean it

a little bit tired but its fun after all...

ramai giler kat umah aq first day raya_yela..if i'm not mistaken tahun nie,

firts year nenek, atuk n cik su aq duk skali brayekat umah aq..

sooo sedra yg duk jauh tu lepak kat umah kitaowang r..

terpaksa la kami adik bradik hidup merempat kat lam bilik parents kitowang..

oKey perww>>korang x leh wat mcam kitowang... ^^

tido skli semua adik bradik__lame xbuat..

hemmm...miss my old time..shared katil bertingkat , tido skali...hahhahaha

okey btw, here some pics yg disnap mase raya aritu..

ad byk lgi..tpi yela aq nie ukan jenis nak tggu berjam2 upload gambar--

Rya Time!!

ladies_meet my parents_mom n dad

this adik sedara aq_rasenye la

aq mmg ada masalah dlm nak ingat nie_

sorry awal2 lauw salah

first day raya_we snap our pic b4 wat kje

in da middle_thats my grandma

cute kan??

model yg x kan menjdi

wishing to be model_

like this pic_although ngan muka adik aq yg masam tu

nie at the middle_also my gradma belah mak aq

thats all for da show...

p/s:tgk jer jgn complain ^^v

~sucking it!!~

2009-09-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

why??why??why??

why should i hate Hari Raya??

am i??

what should i do??

y??y??

those...hemmmm...

those___

i'm sorry__

~nak tahu tak??

2009-09-05T02:02:00.001-07:00

wanna noe something??

hemmm___

okey_maybe i was a little bit wicked_but i dunno...

i just want to let it out__

a few days ago(dunno wat date it is)my old old frenz from kl

called me_ujan xde,ribut xder, its too sudden_terkejut tu mmg terkejut_

yela aq x akrab mane ngan dia_just noe his name n face_

gehheheh_cakap pun xkadar "hai" bye"hey"

thats all...

soo awal2 call tu mmg totally x cam dia nye suara_

lame2 tu lepas dia bagi clue skit bru la ingat_

cian dia_dua tiga kali mengeluh_

soowyy, but seriuosly dun blame me_

aq mmg cepat lupa_

nak ingat name owang pun aq makan mase yang lame...

Totally akward awal2 borak ngan dia_

he asked me about life_that stuff_this stuff_n bla---bla--bla---

amazingly, i talked to him more than half an hour,

jarang aq sembang ngan owang yang aq x rapat lame2

but expect da unexpected k..

aq pun x caya..

hahhahaha_

ape tah yang kitowang borak

n sedap2 borak gelak2_

he suddenly asked me out_

i thought it was a joked_sooo i just laughed n says

"yes i may go out if u if u take me with ur honda jazz_"

he silent n then he said back to me, which is made me speechless for a while

"owh, sowwy, that car wasnt mine, but i can surely take u with my bmw"

okey, is he trying to make a fun or it just it??

aq mmg waktu xde ayat pun yang leh aq fikir_

shit too me__

then he said again"plez dun misunderstanding_i wasnt planning to show off, but thats da only car with me now_or u want me to take u wif satria neo??is that okey??

OooKEYY...look sir_aq bergurau je_pesal la mamat nie seyes sangat_

creepy aq__n aq x tahu plak mamat nie kaya---

hehhe

!!wei korang jangan salah faham lak k,, aq ukan materialistik k..!!

bukan nak ambik kesempatan pun__

huh!!

sooo aq pun cakap la yang aq bergurau je n ingat dia bergurau jer_

mane tahu dia seyes__huhuhuhu_my bad luck sungguh!!

aq pun bgi la xcuse yang aq nie kat still ad kat matrik n banyak kje nak wat_

that part is true k..

satu benda yang aq x ske udak laki_

is they kurang faham bahasa_

"its okey_i can wait, but i was hoping that we can go out sometime_before next year_"

pperrggghhh...wat pe la aq nak kuar

kite ukannya kenal sangat pun_still dun get it_

aq ubah la topic_asking him y cant next year_

he said next year da kne fly_skunk nie ikut program ape tah_

his goin to UK---brape ramai lagi la member aq nak p..huhuhuhu

da only thing yang aq leh jawab_"maybe"

after dat, setiap kali dia cal aq x angkat_

kecil ati x die ha??

ukan xmoo angkat_da tu aq nak bg excuse pe lagi??

sooowyyy___

~aPabiLa Diri muLa bErtanya~

2009-09-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

Seperti yang kita sedia maklum_hidup ini tidak terlalu bahagia dan tidak terlalu menderita

fair n square_

tapi kadang2 manusia jadi tamak dan inginkan lebih daripada itu_

life is not that perfect_

bahagia takkan sentiasa bersama kita_

semua perkara_

semua perasaan kita akan alami jua di kemudian hari_

antara mahu atau tidak kita perlu juga menerima seadanya_

itu lumrah hidup_

permasalahan didalam diri setiap manusia adalah tidak sama_

kita akan lalui sesuatu perkara dalam keadaan yang berbeza_

kerana itu lumrah hidup.....

Aq x salahkan mereka diluar sana yang membenci aq_

bukanlah ini yang aq pinta_

tapi apakah daya_

itu lumrah manusia_

Aq bukan seorang manusia yang sempurna segalanya

ada kalanya aq hilang_ada kalanya aq timbul

tapi apakan daya_

itu lumrah_

adakalanya aq tertanya_

mengapa perlu lumrah hidup sedemikian??

mengapa aq perlu hadapi dan bukan mereka?
mengapa kadang kala aq rasa terlalu berat beban dibahu,

namun tiada apa yang dapat ku buat_

kadang kala aq terfikir mengapa aq dibuat sedemikian dan bukan mereka?

Dan dalam satu masa aq mengetahui bahawa itu adalah aq_

bagi mereka yang mengikuti blog aq nie_

yang tahu kisah silam hidup aq nie_

aq inginkan perubahan_dan aq inginkan pelaksanaan_

aq sedar, berdiam diri adakalanya tidak dapat membantu_

sedarlah_bukan semua manusia sempura_

jua dirimu_tolong jangan menconteng arang dimuka orang lain_

kesabaran ku ada tahapnya_

maafkan aq andai kata, perbuatan ini membuatkan segelintir mereka diluar sana terasa_

hanya ini yang dapat aq lakukan_

_hEre's da Thing~

2009-08-31T09:13:00.001-07:00

UPS aq da lepas_n fyi aq da dapat result aq da pun_

Obviously aq kne work struggle lebey daripada yang skunk_

hemmm__seksa tu mmg seksa tapi nak wat camner_

nak xnak kne la aq usaha_

Tgk pada result pun nampak sangat aq still lgi main2 kat matrik nie_

hemmm__ ape nak jadi ngan aq nie_bile nak berkembang_

banyak benda yang aq kne wat_kne study_

satu kelemahan aq skunk_aq x p cubicle_tu yang susah_

bile duk pk2 balik_aq bukan x moo p jupe lecturer_it just dat

x kan nak p jupe tanpa motif_

okey aq admit yg name pun nak p jpe lecturer kan_

sti r tnyer soklan ke_benda2 yang kite x faham ke_

aq x kate tu salah_but it just not me_

bagi aq daripada memperbodohkan diri aq kat depan lecturer baik aq prepared dulu_

n here's da thing_

aq x thu ape yang aq dah prepared_

sebb everything aq abih satu bab n aq x la cakap fully faham_tapi boleh la_

aq rase aq perlukan knowledge yang byk lagi_so that when comes they ask me

some questions walaupun x dapat jwab at least i noe wat they want right_

tahu serba sedikit sal theory tu ni_

hemmm___

tiap2 hari aq tnyer soklan yang same dalam diri aq nie_

sama ada aq boleh buat ke x??

berguna x aq nie sbenarnya_

kdang2 cemburu tu mmg la cemburu kat student lain yg bijak_

camner la diowang senang nak faham n aq nie ulang 2 3 kali pun blum tentu faham_

tapi kalu cemburu buta tu lagi bodo_n yang bodo tu aq la_

dari duk cemburu baik aq usaha kan_

maybe aq kne usaha lebey dari diowang_

sooo need to study harder than others_

dah tau diri sendiri a kelemahan _

wat pe nak p tengok yang owang lain_

perbetulkan diri sendiri dlu_

n i'm do it it now_InsyaAllah_usaha lebey twakal kepada Allah_maybe suatu hari nanti _

Allah berikan aq kejayaan yang berlipat ganda_

dengan syarat solat LIMA WAKTU JANGAN DITINGGALKAN>>>

AMINNN___

_nEw RamaDhaN for Me~

2009-08-22T02:45:00.001-07:00

okey,,,

maybe its a little bit akward_

coz this is a first time i'm facing dis ramadhan alone_

without my family around_

hemmm_

makin bertambah2 windu lak kat diowang_

miz them a lot_

can say almost 25 hours i miz them_

hemmmm___

hope they're in da same shoes as mine_

well of coz_new life new knowledge_

this is part of da ceremony

while having a new life right_sooo_

dont take heart_i won't_

it just_ermmmm_

one da night before puasa_solat tarawih kan da start_

for da moment i enter dat surau al_muttaqin_

i was hoping dat i could heard da sound of imam_

selawat like he always did when comes da ramadhan~~

^^n others will replay

"sallollah salammua'lai..."

hemmm__i mis dat word_

unfortunately things went oppose_

no selawat_no fun at all_

i'm sowwy_if i make people angry by saying_

i'm not enjoying dis tarawih_

coz_trust me if u were there in my shoes_

u also not goin to enjoy it as i did>>

mmg x der suasana tarawih tauw_

i do understand_lain tempat lain la cara_

da way they conduct_

hemmm_okey_i'll remind it in my mind_

hemmmm_i wish i could go home_n berbuka puasa bersama family_

like other tooo_

i noe this is not da right time wishing those kind of stuff_

nak idup mmg la kne mencabar skit kan_

InsyaAllah_i'll try my best not to affect my study_

"ALLAH ALWAYS WITH ME_N I'VE TO NOE THAT I'M NOT ALONE"

"DEAR ALLAH_PLEASE GIVE ME A STRENGHT SO THAT I CAN SHOW THEM ALL THAT I'M NOT WEAK,I'M YOUR SLAVE THAT BELIEF THAT EVERY LIFE HAVE THE DIFFICULT TIME, N I'M FACING IT NOW_BUT I'M ABOUT TO FACING IT WITH ALL MY STRNEGHT, BUT I'M JUST A SLAVE, YA ALLAH, I'M BEGGING YOU TO GIVE ME A STRENGHT, I COULD NOT FACE THIS ALONE WITHOUT YOUR HELP,

AMINNN..."